(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Amy: My niece is angry at a few members of our family. We offered our apologies, but they were rejected.

My daughter is getting married, and that’s making things awkward.

I recently learned that my niece moved into her first house.

I texted her congratulations and asked for her mailing address, in order to send the invitation. She responded: “Please send it to my father’s house, as it’s just easier.”

Easier than receiving mail at her own house?

She’s made it clear that she wants to stay angry.

I assumed that including her in the family event might begin to heal bad feelings. Now I’m just annoyed.

I’m supposed to invite someone to a wedding that won’t tell me where she lives?

– Offended

Dear Offended: You sound like a mature person, but you might be too willing to chalk your niece’s response up to a family rift, rather than a simple and truthful instruction.

I can think of many reasons why a person who is in a new home might not be confident about her mail service, but your niece’s refusal to communicate about the recent dust-up in your family is bound to make you wonder.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/askamy/s-2525209?fs

Comments

[tielan]

Does this mean I've failed the module on passive-aggressive family relationships?

[conuly]

Sorry!

(But if Niece won't share her addy, no worries, it may be just straight up aggressive.)

[heavenscalyx]

I often feel like Murderbot in that I think the social modules the Company uploaded into my brain are crap and built by the lowest bidder.

[tielan]

Look, if I have to fail a module on passive-aggressive family relationships, at least it's because I don't have to deal with passive-aggressiveness in my family relationships. But...it does sometimes make interpreting Things Other Families Do a bit of a roulette: "So, wait, do they actually mean that, or is there an underlying 'go fuck yourself' that I'm completely missing?"