Dear Prudence: My Sister-in Law Has No Problem Saying She Would Have Aborted Her Son

[legionseagle]

My sister-in-law casually mentioned that she would have aborted my now 3-year-old nephew, but my brother tricked her into missing the appointment. I’m shocked to learn about this, but if she is so willing to share it, what’s to stop their son from eventually finding out? I talked to my brother, and he thinks it would be no big deal if their son does eventually find out. I disagree. How can I convince them to never speak of this again?

—Wish I Hadn’t Heard This

I, too, wish I hadn’t heard this! I am as allergic to such comments in situations where a child might hear as I am to searching personal essays about parenting regret that are posted to the internet where, inevitably, an enterprising child will find them. However, this nephew is not your child, you have no control over how your brother and sister-in-law raise him, and you absolutely cannot convince them not to bring it up. Indeed it’s not even your job to do so!

Comments

[lemonsharks]

My mom told me she backed out at the clinic when it didn't meet her standards for cleanliness. (Fair.)

It's something you deal with. It's not necessarily the big huge horrible traumatizing thing LW a is making it out to be. (I was also an older teenager when she shared this information: so, there is a time and a place for everything.)

She definitely needs to get the entire heck away from her husband, though, because HOLY WOW, BATMAN. She may be happier and a better parent if husband has primary custody.

[legionseagle]

Though whether the husband would be a better parent has to be open to some doubt.