Dear Prudence: My Sister-in Law Has No Problem Saying She Would Have Aborted Her Son

[legionseagle]

My sister-in-law casually mentioned that she would have aborted my now 3-year-old nephew, but my brother tricked her into missing the appointment. I’m shocked to learn about this, but if she is so willing to share it, what’s to stop their son from eventually finding out? I talked to my brother, and he thinks it would be no big deal if their son does eventually find out. I disagree. How can I convince them to never speak of this again?

—Wish I Hadn’t Heard This

I, too, wish I hadn’t heard this! I am as allergic to such comments in situations where a child might hear as I am to searching personal essays about parenting regret that are posted to the internet where, inevitably, an enterprising child will find them. However, this nephew is not your child, you have no control over how your brother and sister-in-law raise him, and you absolutely cannot convince them not to bring it up. Indeed it’s not even your job to do so!

Comments

[melannen]

I think it was her being "shocked" at mentioning it in company, myself. You must treat everything abortion-related as a guilty secret forever!

(Three is probably a little too young to tell on purpose, they still think parents are infallible and omniscient, but there is no evidence the three year old was there.)

[legionseagle]

Agreed on both points. But I think SiL better had tell the kid on purpose as soon as it's appropriate to do so, because it's self-evident to me that the kid's father's going to do so if she doesn't.

[lemonsharks]

How dare SIL be unashamed of her (averted :S) abortion, amirite?