Dear Abby: Naked Husband Woes

[amadi]

Dear Abby: My husband enjoys sitting around (among other activities) naked. We live in a subdivision with 700 homes. I have asked him repeatedly to stop, join a nudist group or go home to his mother — whatever! He says he’s sorry, blah blah blah. But it doesn’t stop happening. The deputies have already visited to tell him to stop playing his ukulele while driving, and I’m afraid he’ll get caught without a stitch on one day and all hell will break loose. I realize how ludicrous this letter may sound, but I’m being truthful. Am I crazy to expect him to stay clothed in semi-public?
Teresa in the South

Dear Teresa: I’m sorry you didn’t define “semi-public.” It’s one thing for a person to “let it all hang out” in the privacy of his (or her) home or fenced backyard. It’s quite another for that individual to fully expose himself in public view. If this is what has been happening, it appears you have married an exhibitionist who could be arrested for indecent exposure if a neighbor chooses to complain. If this is what’s happening, you’re not crazy; you are a concerned wife.

Comments

[azurelunatic]

Also, a bathrobe hung up by the door can help reduce the likelihood of him answering the door in the altogether, along with some strategic placement of those squeegie-on window distortion panels if there's a window by the door.