Dear Abby: Two-year relationship seems to be off

[lemonsharks]

DEAR ABBY
March 3, 2021, 1:21PM Updated 14 hours ago

Dear Abby: I have been on and off with a man for two years. In all this time, he has never spent a holiday or Valentine’s Day with me, or introduced me to his family or friends. He told me to stay in the bathroom at his office when his friends showed up unexpectedly. When I objected, he said, “It’s only for 20 minutes.” I was horrified.

He accuses me of picking fights and says I will never be happy with anyone when I try to talk with him about it. He breaks up with me at holiday time, never calls when he’s on vacation and our dates are always last minute. I realize he is using me for sex.

Narcissistic and emotionally abusive? Am I wrong? He tells me no one will stay with me once they know the type of woman I am. I’m not always at fault like he wants me to believe. I regret the day he entered my life. How can I make him see what he does is wrong?

— Almost Done in New York

Dear Almost Done: This shameless man may never view what he has been doing as wrong, so don’t try to “make” him see anything. End this sorry excuse for a relationship now.

Comments

[lemonsharks]

Dear LW:

You are the other woman. DTMFA.

[lilysea]

Dear LW:

You are the other woman. DTMFA.

Alternatively, he may well NOT be dating anyone else, but LW is secondfiddle to the man's

- gambling addiction

- drug addiction

- alcohol addiction

- workaholism

Which is also bad news...

[lemonsharks]

My money is on LW being the other woman specifically because they have never spent a holiday together.

[heavenscalyx]

Yuuuuuuuup.

[purlewe]

Also hiding in the bathroom when his friends showed up unexpectedly.

[lemonsharks]

This is also true and horrible!

[julian]

Well, and also, when his friends show up at work, he shoves her in the bathroom. There are very few other reasons for that kind of bullshit.

[lemonsharks]

This is also true and horrible!

[melannen]

+1 +1 +1

[jadelennox]

Yeah, he's totes married and the co-workers know he's married.

[rmc28]

I feel that getting dumped is sufficient education in how wrong he is.

[xenacryst]

Ghost him, block his number (and all other means of contacting you), and get him the hell out of your life, and not a moment too soon.

[jesse_the_k]

almost done?

How much crap is this person willing to put up with? "Narcissistic and emotionally abusive?" It's like she's seeking validation that she's suffered enough?

[minoanmiss]

I could've been her when I was 20, after a childhood of my parents telling me I was unloveable and an adolescence of being dumped on for being a fat girl. I really hope she finishes the epiphany of "perhaps I don't actually deserve to be treated like shit" that I think she is embarking upon.

[jesse_the_k]

Thank you for reminding me of all the things I didn’t know when i was young, either.

[conuly]

There was no way to ruin this advice, I see.

[mommy]

That is a stadium filled with red flags. It's time to move on.

[dorinda]

This dude is a married dude. Never spends any holidays with her/breaks up with her at holiday time? Never calls when he's on vacation? Never introduced her to any of his family or friends, to the extent that he demands she ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY HIDE?

Maaaaarriiiiiied.

[swingandswirl]

... Destiny's Child's 'Say My Name' started BLARING in my head, I swear. She's 100% the other woman and needs to a) dump his ass and b) get her ass into therapy.