Dear Abby: Stressed nurse fears retribution if she complains about work conditions

[lemonsharks]

DEAR ABBY: I have been a nurse for 10 years and love taking care of my patients. I have worked at a midsize hospital for 2 1/2 years.

Since I started working here, we have been assigned six or seven patients at a time, although I was told when I was hired they were going to hire enough nurses to have a 4-to-1 ratio. It not only hasn’t happened, but the administration keeps piling on paperwork for the nurses to complete.

I have anxiety, and this is about to cause me to break. I love my job, and I don’t want to leave. I just wish they would be more considerate of their nurses instead of making them feel like I do right now, which is wanting to find something else.

Should I say something to my charge nurse about how I’m feeling? I’m afraid if I do, I’ll be pushed out of this job. Adding to my anxiety is that my daughter now works at the same facility, and I’m afraid if I say anything they will punish her. Please offer me your advice. -- ANXIOUS R.N. IN ALABAMA


DEAR ANXIOUS R.N.: Because you feel the stress is becoming too much, I do think you should address it with your charge nurse. It’s the truth. Because the pandemic has increased the workload on all medical caregivers, you are far from alone in feeling overwhelmed.

When you speak up, do not couch it in terms of the fact that your employers haven’t followed through on their promises. Do it strictly in terms of the effect it is having on you. I doubt you will be fired, because experienced nurses are in such high demand right now. However, if you are let go and your daughter is questioned about it, all she should say is that the workload and the stress became too much for YOU. Speaking your truth should be no reflection on her.

Comments

[lemonsharks]

This feels like terrible advice but I can't put my finger on the specific manner of terrible.

Though TBH LW might benefit from taking advantage of the nursing shortage and straight up moving to another job or becoming a travel nurse for a few months, then using the extra travel nurse pay to take what I suspect is a long-needes sabbatical.

[conuly]

LW might not be fired *tomorrow*, but somebody has to take the shittier jobs, and there's always the day after the official end of the pandemic looming.

If LW feels that they'll take these complaints out on Daughter, then either LW is amazingly paranoid or they probably will. I feel like this is a problem that unions are made for, but I don't know how much that would help them here and now.

[lemonsharks]

Seriously. This is definitely a conversation better had with a union rep at the table.

I have some thoughts about "someone has to take the shittier jobs" that I may come back with when it's not 2AM.

[conuly]

I'm just thinking, if they drive her into quitting without provably creating a hostile work environment, then they don't have to pay severance either.

[minoanmiss]

Medicine is often surprisingly terrible. I'm sorry, LW.

[starfleetbrat]

The LW doesn't say what dept they are in at the hospital, but there is a global pandemic, so I would imagine that for the past year nurses would be in high demand and spread thin. Perhaps the administration have wanted to hire on more nurses but the dept LW works in, isn't a high priority for hires right now. Of course that doesn't explain the prior 18 months before this past year...

[neotoma]

I think the LW should talk to their union, first. Because this is definitely a problem with the management, and one that will not be solved by one person speaking out.

And if you don't have a union, maybe LW and their co-workers should start one.

[sporky_rat]

The trouble is that the LW is in Alabama and they're worse than Mississippi (where I am) about unions.

[julian]

Like, reasonable advice, but where the hell is this person's union?

[jadelennox]

Are there non-union nurses? I've never met any, but maybe in Catholic hospitals?

In any case, LW: some questions are for Ask A Manager. Some are for Abby. (Narrator: No questions are actually for Dear Abby.)

Come to think of it, we need an advice column from Ask A Labor Advocate. We need that desperately.

[lemonsharks]

I wouldn't ask Abby any question of more consequence than "do I break out the fine china for regular dinner with my in laws or do I save it for holidays?"

[conuly]

"Which way do I hang my toilet paper roll?"

[movingfinger]

1. This is a union issue, and it's a patient safety issue. Document, document, document! The hospital is endangering patients with the high patient-staff ratio. I assume this is a pre-pandemic letter, by the way. Especially note down effects on patients!

2. An RN is one of the most employable people in America today. Start job-hunting. Sure, it's a COVID pandemic, but she can negotiate for more money, get to know other organizations, and choose where she wants to land in the long term. Same goes for her daughter.

[jadelennox]

An RN is one of the most employable people in America today

Yes! Dear LW, also look into VNA and other visiting nurses associations. The overwork is still bad, but my understanding is that it's a lot better than hospitals.