agonyaunt | (no subject)

DEAR ABBY: New neighbors moved into my apartment building about a month ago. I don't mind that sometimes I hear their kids. I don't mind that sometimes I hear the adults. BUT! Their alarm clock wakes me up every morning at 6 a.m. It's loud, and I'm guessing it's up against the adjoining wall.

Normally, I sleep until 8. I work from home, and I'm usually up until 1 a.m. or so. I'm a night owl, and I simply can't go to sleep any earlier.

It's impossible to sleep through their alarm. It has been weeks. I am afraid if I complain they will call me a racist since I am white, and they are black. But it's NOT a race thing; it's a sleep thing. What should I do? -- SLEEPLESS IN BALTIMORE

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Write a polite note to the new neighbors and introduce yourself. Explain the problem you are experiencing and ask if they can help you by either moving their alarm clock to a different part of their bedroom or adjusting the ring to make it softer. (It could be as simple as placing their clock on a soft surface like a towel.) If they are unwilling to cooperate, as a last resort try earplugs and talk to the building manager about the noise problem.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearabby/s-2469644

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This may be uncharitable, but I have serious doubts about people who pre-emptively declare that ugh, they can't say anything to anybody about anything because somebody might jump to the wild conclusion that they're secret racists!

The walls are thin, 6am is early.

But, you know, maybe LW can ask a Black friend to make the request on their behalf, assuming they have one. Or, alternatively, since they're a big old wuss and I certainly have no reason to suspect them of closet bigotry, they can invest in some cork and a soundproof curtain. Pin the cork over the offending wall, hang the curtain in front of it, sleep better. (Also use a white noise machine.)

Edited 2021-01-23 07:49 (UTC)

To be honest if a White friend asked me to intervene I would give them such side-eye and would say, "go talk to them, politely, person to person, and then if they call you a racist, which, WTF, I personally think is unlikely, you will know in your heart you were not. As opposed to assuming they would, WTF. "

In my experience, at least, saying "X is a racist action" is a really good way to not get listened to and to bring out people's defensiveness, not a way to get people to back off. And that's just one of the many reasons I and not a few other Black people wouldn't throw around casual accusations of racism. Some Black people do, and they're assholes to do so, but oh I get tired of seeing us all judged by our worst all the time.

(if I sound annoyed it's with the LW and their underlying assumptions, not at all with you.)

TBH, you have white friends, and I am not certain this LW has ever spoken to a Black person in his life.

I too would not bet on LW having spoken to a Black person ever in this world.

I do not disagree with your suspicions about LW.