agonyaunt | (no subject)

Dear Annie: The holidays are here and gifts are arriving. Once again, we're getting boxes of chocolates, tins of mixed nuts, gourmet cheeses, fancy cookies and pastries. My husband and I eat a healthy diet, get regular exercise and are allergic to nuts and dairy. We've explained to people that these foods make us extremely sick and can even be life-threatening but still the same gifts come year after year. Their attitude seems to be: "Hey, it's Christmas, for Pete's sake. Lighten up and just enjoy. A little won't hurt you." So, I write a note, thanking them for thinking of us and wishing them a happy holiday, and then donate everything to the local food bank and homeless shelter. If you or your readers have suggestions on other ways to handle this, we would appreciate hearing them. -- You Really Shouldn't Have

Dear You Really Shouldn't Have: Sorry to disappoint, but I have no real advice here. You're already doing exactly what I'd suggest. As frustrating as these types of gifts might be for you and your husband, remember that there are many people who would be happy to receive any gifts at all.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearannie/s-2456668

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nope, sorry, life-threatening gifts are not something you are obliged to accept at all. Announce before the holiday season that because of your life-threatening allergies, you can no longer accept *any* food gifts because of the risk. Emphasize that while you appreciate the sentiment, ask that they please donate to the food bank or homeless shelter in your name instead.

If they insist on giving these gifts, *return them ASAP* with a polite reminder about your life-threatening allergies and request to donate in lieu. And do it until the gift-givers take the hint. No, this is not a polite solution, but this attitude of "but a little won't hurt you!" needs to stop. Because the next step may be that they start adding nuts or dairy secretly to your food.