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agonyaunt2020-10-28 12:14 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2020-10-28 12:14 pm
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Ask a Manager: Planning for parental leave with the uncertainty of foster parenting
My spouse (he/him) and I (she/her) are beginning the process of becoming foster parents. We haven’t had a home study yet or anything — but we could be within six months of being eligible for placements if everything works out. I have done a bit of diving into my work’s (academia!) parental leave policies and they require 90 days’ notice – something that doesn’t seem like it exactly aligns with foster placements. I mean, we could get a placement right after we’re licensed, but we may need to wait months. I’m not worried about my team – we’re a pretty understanding bunch — but my organization as a whole is big and I don’t want to mess anything up. My spouse is in a bit more of a precarious employment position than I am, which can also complicate things (he doesn’t get PTO).
I’m always not sure how much time we’ll want to take. It looks like some foster parents take a week of vacation and delay parental leave for a few months. This is all new to me and not as clear cut as the normal path to parenthood seems to be.
When would we tell our employers? How does one request parental leave when we don’t exactly know when it will happen or for how long? Are there other insights you and the readers might have of balancing work and foster parenting?
Ideally you’d figure out what you’ll want to ask for, since otherwise it’s not really actionable for your manager — they won’t know if they need to plan for you being out for a week (not a big deal) or a few months (a bigger deal that will take a lot more planning). So I’d try to figure that out first — possibly by talking to other foster parents about what they’ve done. If it’s impossible to know until closer to the time (like if it will depend on the specific needs of the child), I’d explain that to your boss and ask about the best way to proceed.
But we’ll get better input from readers who have navigated this themselves. Readers who have fostered kids, how did you handle advance planning for leave?
I’m always not sure how much time we’ll want to take. It looks like some foster parents take a week of vacation and delay parental leave for a few months. This is all new to me and not as clear cut as the normal path to parenthood seems to be.
When would we tell our employers? How does one request parental leave when we don’t exactly know when it will happen or for how long? Are there other insights you and the readers might have of balancing work and foster parenting?
Ideally you’d figure out what you’ll want to ask for, since otherwise it’s not really actionable for your manager — they won’t know if they need to plan for you being out for a week (not a big deal) or a few months (a bigger deal that will take a lot more planning). So I’d try to figure that out first — possibly by talking to other foster parents about what they’ve done. If it’s impossible to know until closer to the time (like if it will depend on the specific needs of the child), I’d explain that to your boss and ask about the best way to proceed.
But we’ll get better input from readers who have navigated this themselves. Readers who have fostered kids, how did you handle advance planning for leave?