AITA: My boyfriend (24M) is angry that I (22F) wrote a lesbian relationship....

[minoanmiss]

(link goes to RElationship Advice repost because it got moved from AITA)

My boyfriend (24M) is angry that I (22F) wrote a lesbian relationship, and I don’t know what to do.

I love writing stories, and the characters I write are all rather diverse. I‘m also bisexual, and my boyfriend knows this.

Now, recently I began writing a fantasy novel while we were in quarantine together, and I‘m quite far along. My boyfriend is always pretty excited to see me write. He also sometimes asks me, if I have a character which represents him, which I find a bit weird. I normally never write about real people in my story. I just love to create characters from scratch and to let them act in a world entirely fictional. So I always say "oh, those are only fictional characters, they represent no one".

He seems confused by that, but doesn’t say anything else. I was almost finished with my story, when he asked me, if he could read it. I said yes, but he shouldn’t have too high expectations, because I didn’t really proof read it yet.

Now I should tell you a bit about the story.

It‘s basically about a princess and a maid falling in love in a really conservative society. Basically people want to marry the princess off, but obviously she doesn’t want that. This is basically the "background" of the story, but there is still a lot of other stuff going on which is too much to get into.

He read it in a few days, and he got really quite and avoided me. I was a bit confused, but thought his stressful work might be the reason.

He then confronted me yesterday night and asked me, if I really loved him. I said of course. He then asked me why I was writing about a lesbian relationship. Again confused I said that the story was interesting for me. He then accused me of self inserting myself into the story to live out my "forbidden feelings". We then began arguing with him requesting that they brake up in the story and the princess to end up with a male character he really liked. I then said I was planning for that character being gay, and him and the princess later to work together to escape their situation. He blew up at me and demanded I change the story, even kill the lover of the princess. I then also screamed, saying I can’t do that because I grew to love these characters and I want them to have a happy ending.

Now he doesn’t talk to me, and I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to change my story, but I also want to mend my relationship.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

I need to get back to work on that Whole Man Disposal Services icon.

[harpers_child]

I cannot help but be reminded of the boyfriend I had in my early twenties who knew I was bi and wanted me to kiss female friends of ours while he watched (I know), but got pissed off at me for weeks after I did kiss a girl. I ended up dumping him and am still friends with her.

This guy wants your every moment to be about him. Run. Run now.

[eva_rosen]

The boyfriend could write fanfiction about her story where his preferred couple ends together? But seriously, dump him.

[cereta]

The number of reasons LW should dump this clown is...a really, really big number.

[green_grrl]

Wow, people really, really do not get fiction. By his logic, no murder mystery writers would have friends/spouses, because, “wHy Do yOu WaNt To KiLl Me?!?!”

[oursin]

'You didn't like me writing fantasy with lesbian romance: here is my psychological thriller about a women who is a serial killer luring men to a horrible dooooooom'.

[minoanmiss]

With a vagina dentata!

[bikergeek]

Such a wonderful phrase...

(h/t Aerie/Queen of Wands)

The only way to respond to this is with memes

[bikergeek]

Dafuq did I just read?

The number of people who can't differentiate fiction from reality is TOO DAMN HIGH.

And, "Wat."

[laurajv]

See...there's a reason that I married the person I did, and it's because he's the only person I ever dated who NEVER came at me with biphobic nonsense. (Many of the others were decent folks who learned, and I'm still friends with them, but...I don't have time for that kind of bullcrap in my personal life.)

Paging Whole Man Disposal Services, indeed.

[cereta]

See, I'm just imagining Spouse's reaction to me writing f/f erotica, and "pissed off" is really not on the list, you know?

[lemonsharks]

My female partner is excited to read both my het and fem/slash erotica, because she supports me and is interested in WHAT I create.

TMI? BELOW
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(Also, not gonna lie, it is one effective way to share a sex life while stuck in long distance.)

[lemonsharks]

🎵🎶🎵run away run away kick him out run away🎶🎵🎶

[conuly]

He broke it, let him mend it.

Or better yet - don't.

[sara]

DTMFA

[lavendertook]

He told her his fantasy is that he wants to make sure her attraction to women pales next to his BIG UN-GAYING PENIS. She could tell him it really isn’t very big or un-gaying and that she is still bi. And that he is an utter asshole to tell her what she should write.

But better yet, she needs to think about why she wants to mend things with an utter controlling asshole. He’s told you who he is--stop mending who you are.

[malkingrey]

God. Writers get this all.the.damned.time. Even death will not release you, because then you get it from the scholars and the critics.

I swear, sometimes I think most people have no concept of the idea of Making Stuff Up. Or else they think that it's something only kids do, and that grownups who do it are somehow suspect.

So either they believe that every story is the record of a deep hidden truth, or they believe that stories aren't actually made by human beings at all, but are the naturally occurring fruit of the fiction tree.

(Offstage sound of personal ox being gored....)

[xenacryst]

Certainly there's a couple in this letter that needs to break up. But it ain't the fictional one.