minoanmiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2020-02-21 05:35 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2020-02-21 05:35 pm
Entry tags:
Dear Prudence: Offputting Gym Instructor
Dear Prudence,
I’ve been going to my gym for a little over a year now; I like it because it’s convenient, affordable, and offers a lot of community programs. I typically take whatever class is available at the time I stop by because I need the class format to keep me motivated, and that’s worked for me until about a few months ago, when an instructor I can’t stand started taking over most of the usual classes. She switches between positive/negative/condescending reinforcement with stunning rapidity and yells for most of the class—things like “Sweat is your fat crying” and “Think of all the food you’ll get to eat later! Crab legs, pizza, chocolate…”
I don’t know if I’m being oversensitive here. I know this is common talk in the fitness world, but I find it insulting as a fat woman and I thought this particular gym would be a more comfortable space than the name-brand fitness options. Also, being reminded of pizza in the middle of a high-intensity workout makes my stomach churn. Should I talk to her about it directly? She says she’s open to feedback, but she also says things like, “If you don’t hate me by the end of this class, then I’m not doing my job.” Write an anonymous letter to the gym? Start going to a gym farther away with different instructors?
–Combative Instructor
“I’m open to feedback” rings a bit hollow when it’s preceded by things like “I want you to hate me” and “Imagine your fat crying,” doesn’t it? If you’re feeling up to it, I’d recommend speaking to her directly: “I’d appreciate it if you’d stop telling us our fat is crying or to imagine eating junk food in the middle of a workout because we’ve ‘earned’ it; I’m working out to stay active, not to lose weight or hear comments about my body.” But given her track record, you may want to go straight to management first if you’re worried she’ll get defensive and say something like, “You need me to yell at you about your body fat.” I imagine you are not the only gymgoer who would feel sufficiently motivated if she stopped describing phantom medieval banquets or trying to make their body fat cry. There’s still plenty of things she can say! Describe the next movement, suggest a possible adjustment, offer encouragement that doesn’t rely on promises that you’ll hate her later, etc. But I don’t think writing an anonymous letter would be more effective than simply asking to talk to whoever supervises the class instructor roster and explaining your problem. In the meantime, maybe you can look for a gym buddy who’s willing to hit the free weights section or join you doing laps in the pool so you get the same sense of accountability a class would provide without the attendant yelling and smorgasbord fantasies.
I’ve been going to my gym for a little over a year now; I like it because it’s convenient, affordable, and offers a lot of community programs. I typically take whatever class is available at the time I stop by because I need the class format to keep me motivated, and that’s worked for me until about a few months ago, when an instructor I can’t stand started taking over most of the usual classes. She switches between positive/negative/condescending reinforcement with stunning rapidity and yells for most of the class—things like “Sweat is your fat crying” and “Think of all the food you’ll get to eat later! Crab legs, pizza, chocolate…”
I don’t know if I’m being oversensitive here. I know this is common talk in the fitness world, but I find it insulting as a fat woman and I thought this particular gym would be a more comfortable space than the name-brand fitness options. Also, being reminded of pizza in the middle of a high-intensity workout makes my stomach churn. Should I talk to her about it directly? She says she’s open to feedback, but she also says things like, “If you don’t hate me by the end of this class, then I’m not doing my job.” Write an anonymous letter to the gym? Start going to a gym farther away with different instructors?
–Combative Instructor
“I’m open to feedback” rings a bit hollow when it’s preceded by things like “I want you to hate me” and “Imagine your fat crying,” doesn’t it? If you’re feeling up to it, I’d recommend speaking to her directly: “I’d appreciate it if you’d stop telling us our fat is crying or to imagine eating junk food in the middle of a workout because we’ve ‘earned’ it; I’m working out to stay active, not to lose weight or hear comments about my body.” But given her track record, you may want to go straight to management first if you’re worried she’ll get defensive and say something like, “You need me to yell at you about your body fat.” I imagine you are not the only gymgoer who would feel sufficiently motivated if she stopped describing phantom medieval banquets or trying to make their body fat cry. There’s still plenty of things she can say! Describe the next movement, suggest a possible adjustment, offer encouragement that doesn’t rely on promises that you’ll hate her later, etc. But I don’t think writing an anonymous letter would be more effective than simply asking to talk to whoever supervises the class instructor roster and explaining your problem. In the meantime, maybe you can look for a gym buddy who’s willing to hit the free weights section or join you doing laps in the pool so you get the same sense of accountability a class would provide without the attendant yelling and smorgasbord fantasies.
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Holy eating disorder trigger, Batman. Someone get this lady away from fitness education stat.
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A great statement and I particularly like the phrase "daring to have a body"!!! I will borrow your phrasing when needed. Thank you! However, since I only know you as "mommy", I won't give attribution. ;-D
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(Goes double for P.E. teachers.)
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