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Fight Over Luggage Throws a Wrench in Plans for a Cruise
DEAR ABBY: I paid $5,000 for a seven-day cruise with my grandkids. All I asked was for them to pack a carry-on and a backpack. My granddaughter and son are having a problem with it. I tried explaining that I'm handicapped and do not want to check a large bag for her because it's a convenience issue. There's laundry service onboard the ship.
When I went to help her pack, my son said I was being unreasonable, and is now threatening to cancel our time with our grandchildren! My husband and I are heartbroken. He ordered us to leave his home and said we were being ridiculous! I don't know what to think.
Am I being unreasonable? We never told them how much we have spent. We just explained that a checked bag would cause us more stress. We also rented a compact car for after our cruise to take the grands, who are 15 and 16, to the mall and a theme park. We don't understand the big deal. -- CRUISER GRANDMA
DEAR CRUISER: Your letter proves the truth of the adage "no good deed goes unpunished." To say your son overreacted would be an understatement.
As hosts, you and your husband have the right to issue some guidelines. Inexperienced travelers are often tempted to overpack, and that appears to be true here. If you haven't raised the subject with your son of the cost of the cruise and your worry about hauling around large pieces of luggage in the small rented car, you should. At least then he will understand why you have given "the grands" a limit. If they want to bring larger bags, the kids should be responsible for paying whatever additional cost there might be. At 15 and 16, both should also be able to lug around their own suitcases. It's a teaching opportunity!
https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2020/2/2/0/fight-over-luggage-throws-a-wrench
When I went to help her pack, my son said I was being unreasonable, and is now threatening to cancel our time with our grandchildren! My husband and I are heartbroken. He ordered us to leave his home and said we were being ridiculous! I don't know what to think.
Am I being unreasonable? We never told them how much we have spent. We just explained that a checked bag would cause us more stress. We also rented a compact car for after our cruise to take the grands, who are 15 and 16, to the mall and a theme park. We don't understand the big deal. -- CRUISER GRANDMA
DEAR CRUISER: Your letter proves the truth of the adage "no good deed goes unpunished." To say your son overreacted would be an understatement.
As hosts, you and your husband have the right to issue some guidelines. Inexperienced travelers are often tempted to overpack, and that appears to be true here. If you haven't raised the subject with your son of the cost of the cruise and your worry about hauling around large pieces of luggage in the small rented car, you should. At least then he will understand why you have given "the grands" a limit. If they want to bring larger bags, the kids should be responsible for paying whatever additional cost there might be. At 15 and 16, both should also be able to lug around their own suitcases. It's a teaching opportunity!
https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2020/2/2/0/fight-over-luggage-throws-a-wrench
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granted, this was a llbean hiking backpack. there were 16 of us, and we were girl scouts. we were required to be able to attend all our luggage by ourselves. I had also brought a dufflebag with my sleeping bag as 1/2 the time would would be camping (and little did we know the tents would have no floors, but I digress) and I was told I needed to make room in my hiking bag to carry my sleeping bag. I did and gave the duffle to the girl who brought a scuba backpack (weighted so it would not float) so she didn't have to carry the extra weight as well as her clothes. To this day I can pack everything I need for up to 2 weeks in my smallest carry on and purse. I even bring things I know I am going to toss (older clothes I plan on wearing once bc they are ripping, books I plan on reading and abandoning, etc) I know I am not the norm. Heck I know that when I bring out my biggest suitcase it will be less than half the size I see other people using while travelling. *I know I am not the typical US traveler.*
THAT SAID. these people are going to be in a fancy cruise, which requires clothes that are not interchangeable with camping and hiking. I personally could do it, but I am not a teenager with the need for homework, all the beauty implements, and also the need for fancy dress. 16 and 17 yr olds can handle their own luggage. In fact I encourage you to make them become responsible for their own things. And if they lose them then that is no ones fault but their own.
And all that said, I agree with everyone on here that 3/4 of the story is missing and there is some kind of controlling aspect to the grandparents and how they are handling this. I completely had a screaming match with my mother packing that backpack 30 years ago. So don't expect this to be an easy thing anyway... but truthfully.. let the kids handle their own luggage and there will be less fighting for all involved.