This is another one that I'm curious to see others' reactions. For those who don't know me: I'm adopted, and connected with my birth mother's family literally just months ago. On the one hand, it never occurred to me that being adopted was shameful (and I was always puzzled when the random, not-in-my-immediate-family adult treated it as something to tiptoe around), but it was and still is something that eventually comes up in most relationships that are more than casual acquaintanceships. It seems odd to me that in 30 years of marriage, it hasn't even come up in the subject of health issues.

ETA: I should add that I don't discount the possibility that it's painful for her in some way, although I think I expect the family members the LW spoke to to know that, which may be giving them too much credit.