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agonyaunt2019-12-23 01:37 pm
movingfinger) wrote in agonyaunt2019-12-23 01:37 pm
Miss Manners: the charitable gift in another's name
(Or something to that effect.)
Dear Miss Manners: Every Christmas, I am the recipient of a card from a really darling relative. This relation makes a charitable gift to a third party, and then sends me the card as an acknowledgment of her giving (which is noted as being done on my behalf).
It is, of course, a thoughtful gesture. However, I am unsure exactly how to respond. Do I thank her for thinking of me? Or do I thank her for thinking of others (the third party)?
I understand her charitable giving. What I do not understand exactly is how to acknowledge her efficiency in getting the two birds with one stone (a card to me and also a donation to a charity). I feel almost chastised for not having made the charitable gift on my own (which I recognize is not at all her intention). But how does one properly respond to such a "gift"?
Having always deplored this twofer trick, Miss Manners finds this neither darling nor thoughtful nor truly charitable.
The advantages to the giver are obvious: money saved by counting the donation as also fulfilling the obligation to buy a present; the satisfaction of feeling doubly charitable, and a tax write-off besides. The recipient gets — nothing. Not even a choice of charities. Miss Manners has even been told of people being “honored” with donations to causes they oppose.
No wonder you are puzzled about giving thanks.
Still, you cannot politely ignore the gesture. Try: “Thank you for thinking of me. I hope that your favorite charity appreciates your generosity.”
Dear Miss Manners: Every Christmas, I am the recipient of a card from a really darling relative. This relation makes a charitable gift to a third party, and then sends me the card as an acknowledgment of her giving (which is noted as being done on my behalf).
It is, of course, a thoughtful gesture. However, I am unsure exactly how to respond. Do I thank her for thinking of me? Or do I thank her for thinking of others (the third party)?
I understand her charitable giving. What I do not understand exactly is how to acknowledge her efficiency in getting the two birds with one stone (a card to me and also a donation to a charity). I feel almost chastised for not having made the charitable gift on my own (which I recognize is not at all her intention). But how does one properly respond to such a "gift"?
Having always deplored this twofer trick, Miss Manners finds this neither darling nor thoughtful nor truly charitable.
The advantages to the giver are obvious: money saved by counting the donation as also fulfilling the obligation to buy a present; the satisfaction of feeling doubly charitable, and a tax write-off besides. The recipient gets — nothing. Not even a choice of charities. Miss Manners has even been told of people being “honored” with donations to causes they oppose.
No wonder you are puzzled about giving thanks.
Still, you cannot politely ignore the gesture. Try: “Thank you for thinking of me. I hope that your favorite charity appreciates your generosity.”
no subject