I'd call him selfish for "My niece is in the hospital, but what about my hypothetical unborn children?!?!"

My brother was... not great when we had a kid. He's really worked on that and gotten better, but he's still never so much as babysat. (We live in the same city. My child is about to turn four years old.) He is not on our "in the event of doom" documents; a dear friend of ours, whom our child knows well and who is raising a kid of her own with similar disabilities, is. Practicality wins out over blood.

Also, good on the LW for getting all their paperwork in order.