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agonyaunt2019-10-03 01:32 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2019-10-03 01:32 pm
Entry tags:
Ask a Manager:I burned a bridge in a spectacular way — how do I deal with everyone talking about it?
A reader writes:
I could use your advice on something. I know you’re not a fan of burning bridges, but I burned one, then dynamited the remains, then salted the surrounding earth.
I currently work as a senior director of IT development for a midsize firm. Prior to that, I was employed by a large foreign-based outsourcer who provided IT services to a large manufacturer. I was hired at an average market rate as a director of development, in charge of two teams totalling 15 people. I did a good job for them, with very positive reviews.
After seven months, one of my managers was replaced, with no notice, by a less competent and younger manager. I later found out that this man was the son of the best friend of North American BigBoss. After another six months, I received an email on a Friday afternoon at 3 pm telling me that I was being replaced as director (on the flimsiest of pretexts), by this manager (basically swapping positions with him), and that my salary was being “adjusted” by several tens of thousands of dollars starting on Monday. Five minutes later, an announcement of this was sent to my team as well as the manufacturing company.
Turns out that this kind of director role is critical for advancement within the foreign company, and it is clear that this was the intention of BigBoss to get his friend’s son into this role from the beginning. Needless to say, this was embarrassing and my protestations led nowhere; what BigBoss wanted, BigBoss got.
Fast forward four months. I found my current job, which is better in all respects. So, one week before a big deliverable was due, on a Friday at 3 pm, I sent an email to my boss and BigBoss telling them that I quit and giving two hours notice (the exact same as I was given for my demotion), and that I’d drop my laptop and badge off on the way out.
As you can imagine, it hit the fan. The major deliverable would certainly be substantially delayed, and BigBoss was truly outraged. I told him that I gave him the exact same consideration that he gave me, so how could he possibly be upset — I’m sure his friend’s son could figure it all out. I also offered to “consult” for them the next week (I was taking it off to go sit by the beach) for a ridiculous hourly rate that I knew they could never accept.
Needless to say, this was a great “drop the mic” moment and I enjoyed every second. You treat your people like garbage? You reap what you sow.
The problem is this. People have started talking about this in my industry, in a “did you hear? how cool is this!” way. People have congratulated me about it, and a speaker at a recent conference I went to high-fived me (the outsourcer is not popular).
I’m sure this will die down, but how do I handle this in the meantime when somebody “congratulates” me for burning the outsourcer? I’m a little concerned that this might follow me to my next job (probably not for a few years, but who knows?), so I’m also interested in your take on how to frame this going forward. I’m not at all concerned with how I handled this, but I would like to have a strategy of dealing with any blowback.
Ahhhh, I love a good quitting story.
Sometimes that’s at odds with my desire to urge people to protect their reputation / future references / etc. And normally I wouldn’t condone intentionally leaving with two hours of notice as a way to screw your employer.
But sometimes there is sufficient provocation, and it sounds like you had it. They cut your salary by tens of thousands of dollars with two hours of warning time in order to give a job to someone’s friend’s less qualified son? They deserved every bit of what you did, and there is a magnificent poetry in the way you did it.
For the sake of thoroughness, I should note that there could end up being consequences to this that ultimately make you wish you’d handled it a little differently … but it’s really up to you whether you find it worth it or not, and it sounds like you do.
But I think you’re smart to have a strategy for any blowback. When someone congratulates you, I’d play it cool — don’t whoop it up with them or deliver a sermon on retribution, but instead calmly say something like, “It just made sense within the practices they’d set up” or even, “I don’t wish them any harm, of course — but was happy to come over to NewCompany.” (You might bristle at “I don’t wish them any harm,” but it’ll serve you well to say that. And it might even make you look cooler.)
If it comes up in future job interviews, you could frame it this way: “You know, it was a tough situation. I stand by the way I left, but I also can’t imagine running into that very specific context a second time. I’ve been lucky to work for really good companies both before and since then.”
So the overall vibe isn’t “ha ha, let’s laugh at the (well-deserved) harm I caused them” — which an interviewer or another bystander could be alarmed by — but rather your tone and demeanor should convey “it’s a shame that was necessary, and I am a well-adjusted, solid person who doesn’t burn bridges with abandon.” It’s okay to privately think the former, but the latter will serve you better as a public stance.
I could use your advice on something. I know you’re not a fan of burning bridges, but I burned one, then dynamited the remains, then salted the surrounding earth.
I currently work as a senior director of IT development for a midsize firm. Prior to that, I was employed by a large foreign-based outsourcer who provided IT services to a large manufacturer. I was hired at an average market rate as a director of development, in charge of two teams totalling 15 people. I did a good job for them, with very positive reviews.
After seven months, one of my managers was replaced, with no notice, by a less competent and younger manager. I later found out that this man was the son of the best friend of North American BigBoss. After another six months, I received an email on a Friday afternoon at 3 pm telling me that I was being replaced as director (on the flimsiest of pretexts), by this manager (basically swapping positions with him), and that my salary was being “adjusted” by several tens of thousands of dollars starting on Monday. Five minutes later, an announcement of this was sent to my team as well as the manufacturing company.
Turns out that this kind of director role is critical for advancement within the foreign company, and it is clear that this was the intention of BigBoss to get his friend’s son into this role from the beginning. Needless to say, this was embarrassing and my protestations led nowhere; what BigBoss wanted, BigBoss got.
Fast forward four months. I found my current job, which is better in all respects. So, one week before a big deliverable was due, on a Friday at 3 pm, I sent an email to my boss and BigBoss telling them that I quit and giving two hours notice (the exact same as I was given for my demotion), and that I’d drop my laptop and badge off on the way out.
As you can imagine, it hit the fan. The major deliverable would certainly be substantially delayed, and BigBoss was truly outraged. I told him that I gave him the exact same consideration that he gave me, so how could he possibly be upset — I’m sure his friend’s son could figure it all out. I also offered to “consult” for them the next week (I was taking it off to go sit by the beach) for a ridiculous hourly rate that I knew they could never accept.
Needless to say, this was a great “drop the mic” moment and I enjoyed every second. You treat your people like garbage? You reap what you sow.
The problem is this. People have started talking about this in my industry, in a “did you hear? how cool is this!” way. People have congratulated me about it, and a speaker at a recent conference I went to high-fived me (the outsourcer is not popular).
I’m sure this will die down, but how do I handle this in the meantime when somebody “congratulates” me for burning the outsourcer? I’m a little concerned that this might follow me to my next job (probably not for a few years, but who knows?), so I’m also interested in your take on how to frame this going forward. I’m not at all concerned with how I handled this, but I would like to have a strategy of dealing with any blowback.
Ahhhh, I love a good quitting story.
Sometimes that’s at odds with my desire to urge people to protect their reputation / future references / etc. And normally I wouldn’t condone intentionally leaving with two hours of notice as a way to screw your employer.
But sometimes there is sufficient provocation, and it sounds like you had it. They cut your salary by tens of thousands of dollars with two hours of warning time in order to give a job to someone’s friend’s less qualified son? They deserved every bit of what you did, and there is a magnificent poetry in the way you did it.
For the sake of thoroughness, I should note that there could end up being consequences to this that ultimately make you wish you’d handled it a little differently … but it’s really up to you whether you find it worth it or not, and it sounds like you do.
But I think you’re smart to have a strategy for any blowback. When someone congratulates you, I’d play it cool — don’t whoop it up with them or deliver a sermon on retribution, but instead calmly say something like, “It just made sense within the practices they’d set up” or even, “I don’t wish them any harm, of course — but was happy to come over to NewCompany.” (You might bristle at “I don’t wish them any harm,” but it’ll serve you well to say that. And it might even make you look cooler.)
If it comes up in future job interviews, you could frame it this way: “You know, it was a tough situation. I stand by the way I left, but I also can’t imagine running into that very specific context a second time. I’ve been lucky to work for really good companies both before and since then.”
So the overall vibe isn’t “ha ha, let’s laugh at the (well-deserved) harm I caused them” — which an interviewer or another bystander could be alarmed by — but rather your tone and demeanor should convey “it’s a shame that was necessary, and I am a well-adjusted, solid person who doesn’t burn bridges with abandon.” It’s okay to privately think the former, but the latter will serve you better as a public stance.
nb.
Re: nb.
I was internally cheering when I saw this letter.
I can't say I'd never do this because while I'd never do this now I certainly did have the chutzpah to do it as a kid (one of my mother's favourite stories involves her receiving a phone call about my giving a horrible teacher who deserved it the finger) but as a grown up and (slightly) more reflective person, I'd still leave but more quietly.
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Alison's advice is very good, too.
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Anyway, at least it didn’t make nearly as big of a splash in the industry. :)