![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Dear Abby:How Dare She Cancel On Me?
DEAR ABBY: My lunch date for today canceled on me. Generally, when a girl does this, I delete her number and move on. But in this instance, it wasn't a first or second date. We have been seeing each other for about a month and have built up some degree of intimacy. Moreover, I know she's not lying when she says she had a busy week. She apologized via text not once, but twice.
Nevertheless, I feel that as genuine as her apology was and as she has seemed in the time we have been together, this incident indicates either a lack of caring or integrity.
Would I be right to forget her? Or is this the one time a cancellation is justified? -- CLASSIC OVER-ANALYZER IN L.A.
DEAR OVER-ANALYZER: Your problem isn't that you are a classic over-analyzer; it's that you seem to be extremely insecure to the point of courting rejection when none is there. People cannot always control their schedules. And cancellations can happen more than once without it being an indication of lack of interest or caring. I see no reason why you should "forget" a woman whose company you enjoy, unless you are a masochist.
Nevertheless, I feel that as genuine as her apology was and as she has seemed in the time we have been together, this incident indicates either a lack of caring or integrity.
Would I be right to forget her? Or is this the one time a cancellation is justified? -- CLASSIC OVER-ANALYZER IN L.A.
DEAR OVER-ANALYZER: Your problem isn't that you are a classic over-analyzer; it's that you seem to be extremely insecure to the point of courting rejection when none is there. People cannot always control their schedules. And cancellations can happen more than once without it being an indication of lack of interest or caring. I see no reason why you should "forget" a woman whose company you enjoy, unless you are a masochist.
no subject
What can I say but, "wow." I assume that you have deleted from your list of potential partners anyone with an unpredictable job (including doctor, lawyer, nurse, food service worker, and darned near anything). That kids are out is a given, but so are aging parents or friends or family with chronic illness (to say nothing of chronic illness of their own). Serious hobbies are clearly out, because you never know when a game (of any kind) will be rescheduled or an opportunity to take part in something special will arise. Car trouble? Out. Sick pet? Out. Waiting for a package? Nope.
All this is probably for the best, because we wouldn't want your potential mate having anything in her life that doesn't revolve around YOU. Personally, I recommend a dog. No, not a cat. Sometimes they do things other than adore you.
Christ on a cracker, dude, get a LIFE. And I don't say that, like, ever.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Unless you're prepared to learn to accept that the world doesn't revolve around you and your standards for "caring" and "integrity", do this woman a long-term favor and take yourself and your attitude out of her life before she starts to think you can be counted on to be a decent fellow in the face of life's little uncertainties.
Love,
Rev. Lunatic
no subject