conuly: (Default)
conuly ([personal profile] conuly) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2019-08-13 03:05 pm

Molar Mayhem

Dear Annie: Recently, I stayed with my niece and nephew while my brother and his wife took a trip. This seems like a trivial problem, but I know it can lead to serious health issues in the long run. Neither of my brother's teenaged kids brushed their teeth regularly. I reminded them often, but they found ways to wiggle out of it. One was even running the electric toothbrush outside of his mouth -- so I would think he was brushing his teeth. When I went into the bathroom afterward, the electric toothbrush was bone dry. His sister later told me about that trick.

I asked my brother about this, and he said they've tried for years to get the kids to brush their teeth more consistently. They gave them excellent electric toothbrushes and set a great example of brushing at least twice a day themselves. If they try to watch the kids brushing, it turns into a huge fight every time. They've spent hundreds of dollars on dental care as a result. They're at a loss as to what to do. The kids understand it's important but just don't care enough to change their habits. Of course, they do not realize the long-term damage they may be doing, including dangers of infection and disease.

Anything I can do to help them? We're very close, so my brother and his wife would not see it as butting in. They'd welcome a solution. -- Brushless in Baton Rouge


Dear Brushless: While this may seem like a molehill of a problem now, a mountain of plaque buildup on your niece's and nephew's teeth is a huge problem. This is a fight worth fighting. Since they are teenagers, explain to them the diseases and long-term damage that they are at risk of if they fail to brush their teeth. Showing them actual pictures of decayed teeth, while disturbing to look at, could be powerful motivators. Being upfront about the cost of the dental work, and what their family could have spent money on instead -- vacation, shopping, extracurricular activities -- might have them see the impact of their poor dental hygiene in a new way, too.

Perhaps your brother and his wife could try incentives or rewards for completed brushings. It takes roughly two months to form a good habit. So, when setting the reward, have that goal in mind. When they do brush their teeth or get a good cleaning, take a moment to point out just how good it feels to be clean and taking care of your body. Naturally, as humans, we like to be clean.

Also, continue to have their dentist talk to your niece and nephew about the importance of dental hygiene.
terrio: (Default)

[personal profile] terrio 2019-08-14 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
The first thing that came to my mind is that it's not about the tooth-brushing at all, but a way to assert some degree of control over their lives. I wonder what the family dynamic is outside this one issue?
lavendertook: cat macro (that ain't right)

[personal profile] lavendertook 2019-08-14 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
That was my thought, too. With as extreme a solution as wasting the same amount of time as brushing standing around holding a buzzing toothbrush just to rebel, I imagine asking them what the problem is will not get results. One may have sensory issues, but it is not likely both do. There's more serious problems going on with the family dysfunction.
minoanmiss: A detail of the Ladies in Blue fresco (Lady in Blue)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2019-08-14 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm with you, not least because the siblings I'm helping raise do both have sensory issues in remarkably intersecting patterns.
lilysea: Serious (Default)

[personal profile] lilysea 2019-08-14 08:14 am (UTC)(link)
The first thing that came to my mind is that it's not about the tooth-brushing at all, but a way to assert some degree of control over their lives. I wonder what the family dynamic is outside this one issue?

Yes. When I was a child, I used to use my toothbrush and toothpaste to brush the bathroom bench instead of my teeth, because not-tooth-brushing was one of the only ways I got to exert control over my life. [My parents were emotionally abusive; verbally abusive; and physically abusive.]