Dear Abby: Husband uses bug spray despite spouse's allergie

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I have severe asthma and allergies, and I'm particularly sensitive to bug sprays. If I'm exposed to them, my lips and tongue tingle for hours.

Every time my husband of 30 years sees a bug or even a small ant in our house, he reaches for the bug spray and saturates the house with it. Given the length of our marriage, he is well aware of how it affects me. I have asked him many times to please not use spray in the house, particularly when I am home, to no avail.

He did it again yesterday and got angry with me when I asked why. He reads your column, so I know he will see your response to my inquiry. What is your advice? -- FED UP IN FLORIDA

DEAR FED UP: Stop asking your husband not to use bug spray while you are in the house. Be proactive and throw it out! You clearly have a severe allergy to something in it, and for him to persist in spraying while you are on the premises strikes me as not only selfish but also as a form of assault that's potentially very serious. Call an exterminator to have it professionally done. There are other, less toxic ways to get rid of pests, and you should go online and explore them.

Comments

[cereta]

WTF, Abby? "This action your husband regularly engages in is assault. Buy different bug spray." The hell?

There are two very serious points, here:
1. Given that allergies, particularly chemical allergies, can turn deadly on a dime, husband is risking the LW's life.

2. Even if the allergy never worsens, the husband is regularly doing something he knows hurts her, physically hurts her. That's a textbook definition of abuse.

She doesn't need to throw out the bug spray. She needs to throw out the husband.

[kaberett]

YUP.

[julian]

I always hate the dynamic of "They won't listen to me, but will listen to the advice columnist, so advice columnist, lay it on the line for them."

(Hate it on behalf of the person writing in, that is.)

Also, a less toxic way of getting rid of pests would be to divorce this guy, though admittedly this woman doesn't seem interested in that.

[cereta]

Yeah, that's bad enough in most situations, but in one where the person in question is playing Russian roulette with the LW's health/life, it's especially egregious.

[julian]

*Seriously*.

[rymenhild]

Time to get rid of the pest you married.

[conuly]

What really bugs is that bug spray is possibly the least effective method of pest control, so this is both toxic and useless. And her husband is a jerk.

[minoanmiss]

Horrible husband and victim-blamingg advice. Whee.

[lilysea]

Ugh. No.

The ONLY justification for ever using bug spray around someone that you know has adverse health-effects from bug spray

is if YOU (or they, or someone else in the house) have a life-threatening allergy to wasps/bees/etc and you're trying to kill a wasp/bee/etc before it stings you.

That's it.

[xenacryst]

BEES