Sense and Sensitivity: Mom Wants New Way to Share Manicures With Daughter

[cereta]

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 5-year-old daughter, and one of the things that we love to do together is to go to the nail salon. We get matching manicure-pedicures. It is so much fun and a way for us to bond. My husband hates this. He says that it is dangerous for me to allow my daughter to have toxic products used on her hands and skin. He has gone on and on about how the beauty industry is unregulated and we should not be putting paint onto our daughter’s tender nails. He totally killed the fun of our experience, but I can’t ignore him. How can I keep up this tradition in a healthier manner? -- Beauty Queen, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BEAUTY QUEEN: Your husband is not wrong about the lack of regulation in the beauty industry. It is also true that some nail polish can be toxic. The good news is that there is non-toxic polish on the market made especially for children. Many companies make nontoxic nail polish in bright colors specifically for children. There are also nontoxic nail polish removers. Take your own remover and color to the salon so that your daughter can be safe and still enjoy this bonding moment with you.

Comments

[cereta]

This is a "I'm curious to see others' reactions" post for me. Because...well, yes: curious.

[conuly]

Technically true that nail polish can be toxic. This is a far greater risk for the workers at the salon than the five year old who, presumably, does not spend 40+ hours a week bonding with her mom. Also, it's the fumes that are going to getcha, so bringing your own isn't going to do much good. Also, this woman's husband needs to get a grip.

[jadelennox]

yeah, I'm having a very The Jungle reaction to this. Maybe you should be concerned about problems with a nail salon, and you should address those concerns by leaving an absolutely massive tip for the workers who have real health problems and may likely be subject to wage theft and even trafficking.

But, whatever, I actually think it's good advice to be more careful about what you dump on a 5 year old. Just don't make it a stress thing; the reality is that everything can kill ya but people without chemical sensitivities don't tend to have repercussions from nail polish. Pick a non-toxic nail polish, leave a huge tip, and enjoy your self.

[shreena]

I think there might be more behind this. I wonder whether the husband is a bit jealous that he doesn't get to bond with his daughter enough or whether he is concerned that the OP is encouraging the daughter into beauty stuff so early.

I think the basic advice seems sensible - I.e. to find a compromise of some sort that meets the father's concerns but not sure that it will address the root cause.

[misbegotten]

Take your own remover and color to the salon

Really? That's the takeaway for this?

[minoanmiss]

Huh, I thought that was surprisingly decent advice -- if Husband is carrying on about toxicity, deal with that part of his argument by finding explicitly nontoxic designed-for-children products. I'm interested to hear if there's something I'm missing.

(I also think Husband is being a killjoy and possibly sexist in the "how dare you engage in filthy frivolous feminity" way but I would fall off my chair if Harriette addressed that part of it.)

[misbegotten]

but I would fall off my chair if Harriette addressed that part of it

Good point!

[neotoma]

Unless they aren't in the USA, the FDA regulates cosmetics, including nail polish, so this husband doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

[lilysea]

Unless they aren't in the USA, the FDA regulates cosmetics, including nail polish, so this husband doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

Even so, there are nail polishes that are lower in toxicity than others.

eg. Butter London does not contain ingredients that are in many other nail polishes:

Formaldehyde, Formaldehyde Resin, DBP, Toluene, Camphor, Ethyl Tosylamide, Xylene, TPHP

[amireal]

Yep there's 3 free, 5 three, 7 free and 10 free, colloquially. Most places are fine with you bringing your own color. The people doing the service might get twitchy b/c if you don't know the brand, you might not be able to give the best treatment, but generally they're pretty cool with this.

[lilysea]

As someone who gets a migraine just GOING PAST a nail polish salon, I don't think husband's concerns are unjustified.

Am wondering if they could replace this with another form of mother/child bonding?

Playing a sport together; getting hot chocolate together; going to movies together...