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Dear Annie: My Friend is Afraid of Dogs, and I Have a Puppy
Dear Annie: I read your column every day, and I'm always amazed by the unusual dilemmas people write to you about. Now I am hoping you have an answer for me. Anyway, we have a dear friend we've known for many years, and she has a problem with dogs of all sizes. She is extremely afraid of them and reacts in an almost childlike manner towards them. It seems to stem from her childhood in Sicily. One time, when she was 5 years old and walking in her neighborhood, a large dog barked at her and charged the fence around its house. It must have scared the bejesus out of her.
We recently got a puppy, and she doesn't want to be around the puppy. She even cringes at photos of the puppy. Is there anything that can be done to help her without losing her friendship? -- Dog Lover
Dear Dog Lover: You have to take puppy steps with your friend. Each time she comes over to your house, make sure your puppy's just had a nice long walk, and put your puppy on a leash. Ask your pooch to go into a sitting position so that she can pet the puppy calmly. The first time, she may pet your puppy only once or not at all. But if she sees -- through repeated exposure -- that your dog is not the dog that terrified her when she was 5, she may be able to reprogram her fear. If she really can't even try and be around a small puppy, she should seek professional help.
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I don't think this friendship is salvageable, but not because of the dog phobia. Because LW is an asshole with no empathy and no respect for boundaries. I hope the phobic friend ditches them and finds better people to hang out with. (People who may or may not have dogs! The dog is not actually the problem. As other commenters pointed out, it is perfectly possible to hang out with a friend without their pets present.)
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