Dear Abby: food at movies

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I go to movies occasionally with my niece "Connie" and her two kids. Although the theater has a sign "No Outside Food or Drinks Allowed," Connie sneaks snacks in in her oversized purse, then doles them out after the lights go down. I'm not talking about a couple of candy bars; she brings bags of candy, chips and cans of soda.

While I agree with my niece that the price of refreshments is outrageous, I also believe it's the theater operators' prerogative to set prices and policy. I suggested Connie skip the snacks during the movie and take the kids out for ice cream afterward, but she said she didn't want to "deprive" them. When I offered to pay, she said it wasn't about the money, it was "the principle, and besides, "everybody else does it."

I feel my niece is teaching her kids it's OK to break rules you find inconvenient as long as you can get away with it. I enjoy the outings with them so I've dropped the subject for the sake of harmony, but it still bothers me. Connie probably thinks I'm a critical old crank who's out of step with the times. I'd love your opinion. -- PAYING FOR MY POPCORN IN OREGON


DEAR PAYING: Here it is: Your thinking is spot on. Your niece's behavior is dishonest, and children model their behavior on the example set by their parents. Connie's excuse that everybody does it is a cop-out. Because "everyone" does something doesn't make it right.

Theater owners earn a large portion of their profits not from ticket sales, but from their concession stands. I am often struck by the amount of food I see purchased before people enter a theater -- large tubs of popcorn, king-sized candy bars, bucket-sized soft drinks and nachos. What does this say about us?

Obesity is at record levels in the U.S. We are repeatedly cautioned not to eat in front of the television set. The munching going on in theaters is another example of mindless, compulsive eating.

If Connie doesn't want to "deprive" her children, she should feed them a healthy meal before they go to the movie so they won't be hungry. That's my opinion, so I'm glad you asked me.

Comments

[cereta]

This is one of my biggest pet peeves with Abby. She has such a hobby horse about weight that I have even seen her completely fail to answer the question in her zeal to preach about eating and exercise. At least this time she actually answers the question that the letter-writer is asking: about the ethics of bringing your own food to the theater. But you'll notice how quickly she moves onto her pet topic: by the second sentence of the second paragraph.

You'll get no argument from me that the sizes of soda and popcorn are ridiculous (although I want to know where she sees these large servings of nachos), although most people I know share the popcorn and even that that don't finish it. But notice where the letter writer says she "occasionally" goes to the theater with her niece and her niece's children. How many parents are making movie-going a regular experience these days?

Which is, again, my complaint with so many things: treating something that might be at most a once-a month-treat like it's a every day occurrence, or something a parent does for half an hour like it's all day. Heaven forbid we not be perfect Puritanical paragons all the time.

[havocthecat]

Heaven forbid we not be perfect Puritanical paragons all the time.

I think it's terrible that we teach our children to enjoy their food. TERRIBLE, I TELL YOU. Which is why we only give the kidlet food cubes. Because crackers don't matter.

[amadi]

Any enjoyment of any food that isn't purely "virtuous" (e.g. salad, steamed broccoli, occasionally a very very lean piece of meat) is wrong, at all time, because ZOMGOBESITY. If no one ate food that tasted good, no one would be fat, ergo, never eat tasty foods, and never, ever snack.

In a nutshell this is: Eating Disorders ala Abby.

[kouredios]

"Paying for my popcorn" is so disingenuous. I pay for the stuff I put in my purse too, thank you very much. It's hardly stealing. And there's a measure of ethical difference in not obeying a policy which exists solely to line the pockets of the movie theater and ones that do...other things.

You already hit the body issue stuff on the head, so I'll just say: yes, this.

[redbird]

I think it's still set up so that's the only money the movie theater makes: that expensive ticket goes to the studio. So if you want to keep your local movie house in business, buy some popcorn or soda now and then.

I have a friend who brings their own food to the movie, not to save money, but for health reasons: three hours with either nothing at all to eat or junk food is physically hard on some people.

My objection to movie theater serving sizes is that if I finish that huge soda, I'm going to be in the bathroom before the movie is over; if not, there's a fair chance of spilling (even if I don't just keep sipping because it's there.

[kouredios]

Oh, for our local indie movie house, I buy a membership. :D

[the_shoshanna]

I agree with everything people have said about Abby's one-track mind re: food and weight, sheesh.

As for the moral point: if the aunt never speeds, never jaywalks, never accepts a free sample when she has no intention of purchasing the product, never arrives a few moments late for an appointment or leaves a meeting a few minutes early, carefully wipes down every place her skin or sweaty clothing may have touched the gym equipment, pays careful attention to television commercials and the ones that show before the movie starts, never pulls into a no-parking space to run into the store for just a minute, and has never protested unfair or immoral policy through acts of civil disobedience -- and buys eight dollars' worth of movie theater food at each movie she goes to, because after all, that's where they make their profit -- then maybe I'll listen to her. Yes, the kids are being told that some rules can legitimately be disobeyed. And? So long as the mother is, in the long term, seeing that her kids are educated in how to decide what rules to obey and disobey, under what circumstances, and for what reasons, I call that good parenting.