![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Two contrasting letters to Annie...
1. Dear Annie: My 19-year-old daughter -- she'll be 20 in July -- is a sophomore at Charleston College. She came home for spring break and informed my husband and me that she had found her soul mate at Charleston, and they plan to marry this summer. He's 24 and a graduate student teaching English.
She wants to go back to school in the fall as husband and wife. How they plan to support themselves we have no idea. Should we try to talk her out if it? We've already told her we think it's a mistake. -- Disapproving
Dear Disapproving: Have a candid conversation with your daughter about all of the reasons why you think she is too young for marriage. Explain to her that, if they are truly soul mates, there is no harm in waiting at least until she is out of school.
If she still decides to go through with it, then you should support her with love but not money. Nineteen is old enough to make your own mistakes. Let her know that she will be receiving no financial support from you or your husband. If she wants to have all the freedom of being an adult, then she also needs to accept all the responsibility.
Link one
***********
2. Dear Annie: I was doing some spring cleaning and found some receipts in the pockets of one of my husband's sports coats for some large purchases for his sports memorabilia collection, to the tune of $5,000 to $20,000 each. I was in shock. I don't have a problem with supporting him and his hobbies, but he should have discussed it with me first, correct? What should I do? -- Dumbfounded
Dear Dumbfounded: You sound very generous and supportive. Start by having an open, honest conversation with your husband and explain how strongly you feel about not keeping secrets. Maybe the two of you can figure out why he felt the need to hide his receipts to begin with. Maybe he's never consulted you before about large purchases and didn't think it was important to do so. It could be that he has an addiction and needs help for his compulsion. Getting it out in the open now will make things much smoother when he finds the next item to add to his collection.
Link two
She wants to go back to school in the fall as husband and wife. How they plan to support themselves we have no idea. Should we try to talk her out if it? We've already told her we think it's a mistake. -- Disapproving
Dear Disapproving: Have a candid conversation with your daughter about all of the reasons why you think she is too young for marriage. Explain to her that, if they are truly soul mates, there is no harm in waiting at least until she is out of school.
If she still decides to go through with it, then you should support her with love but not money. Nineteen is old enough to make your own mistakes. Let her know that she will be receiving no financial support from you or your husband. If she wants to have all the freedom of being an adult, then she also needs to accept all the responsibility.
Link one
2. Dear Annie: I was doing some spring cleaning and found some receipts in the pockets of one of my husband's sports coats for some large purchases for his sports memorabilia collection, to the tune of $5,000 to $20,000 each. I was in shock. I don't have a problem with supporting him and his hobbies, but he should have discussed it with me first, correct? What should I do? -- Dumbfounded
Dear Dumbfounded: You sound very generous and supportive. Start by having an open, honest conversation with your husband and explain how strongly you feel about not keeping secrets. Maybe the two of you can figure out why he felt the need to hide his receipts to begin with. Maybe he's never consulted you before about large purchases and didn't think it was important to do so. It could be that he has an addiction and needs help for his compulsion. Getting it out in the open now will make things much smoother when he finds the next item to add to his collection.
Link two
no subject
Meanwhile, LW2, whose husband is a fully grown adult, needs to speak to a lawyer about separating their assets, move as much money as possible to a separate checking account he has no access too, and lay down the law on Husband.