LW is, indeed, the biggest of the buzzkills

[conuly]

Our 6-year-old is about to lose her first baby tooth, and my wife wants her to put it under her pillow and do the whole Tooth Fairy routine. I think this is idiotic. When I said so, my wife called me a killjoy and accused me of ruining a “sacred rite of childhood.” It’s 2025, and I’m pretty sure even little kids don’t believe in the Tooth Fairy anymore. Do I really have to play along with this?

—Dad Living In Reality

Dear Dad,

I am sorry to inform you that the Tooth Fairy is no less popular today that she was when you were a kid. It’s a silly rite-of-passage for young kids that brings them joy at a minimal cost to their parents; how many good times can you buy these days for a dollar? Let your wife coordinate the Tooth Fairy’s pick-ups and deliveries and play along when your little one brings it up. You are just a few short years away from the hormonal angst of the “tween” years and I guarantee you that the time will come in which you wish your princess was young enough to believe that a magical figure came into your home unseen and rewarded her for losing a tooth. There are many silly aspects to childhood; your adult cynicism has no place when it comes to the wonder and whimsy that often marks the life of a 6-year-old. Let your daughter—and your wife—enjoy this moment without complaint.

—Jamilah

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Comments

[conuly]

Look, I am a million percent behind anybody who doesn't want to do the tooth fairy or santa or whatever else for ethical, religious, or cultural reasons. Or even logistical ones!

But LW doesn't have a reason that he'd like to share with the class, other than that he feels it's silly and I guess childish - and he's not even the one doing it! He could just leave it all up to Wife!

JFC, what an asshole.

Also, pro tip: I don't care if you do a literal tooth fairy or a "we know it's pretend" tooth fairy or a straightforward exchange of tooth for cash or what. If you haven't started doing this yet, take my advice - under no circumstances should your child put a tooth under their pillow, especially outside a bag or case of some sort. Have them put it in a cup on the table, or on a back hooked (importantly) on the *outside* of their doorknob, or inside a shoe, it doesn't matter where, but not under the pillow.

Just think about it. You can thank me later.

[otter]

55 years ago, when I first lost a tooth, we put it in a glass of water on the kitchen windowsill. No one sneaking into our bedrooms at night. I did that with my kids, too, talking about it as a 'tradition' but not 'reality'.

LW is a jerk.

[mrissa]

We also did the glass of water on the kitchen windowsill thing!

"I know some of your friends leave it under their pillows," said my mother, "but how is the tooth fairy going to be sure we washed your spit off it if it's not in water? It just saves her work."

[nineveh_uk]

Your mother is a genius.

[conuly]

Right, we did "Santa and the Tooth Fairy are fun games to pretend, but not really real" with the kids, and that worked out pretty well - especially since the older one turned out to be the sort of kid who would've really been upset that first year they found out the truth, so bullet dodged. You don't need to do a literal one if you have a problem with it, but you also don't need to be a douche about it.

[yalovetz]

Yeah, we put ours under an eggcup on the kitchen table.

[goljerp]

My mom found (made?) little pillows (like 2 inches square) that had a pocket in them for the tooth, and we'd put that under our pillow. I guess it was easier to take out without waking us? My mom would put the cash and a note into the pocket. I odn't remember if I ever thought it was really a fairy, but I recognized my Mom's handwriting and she made no effort to disguise it.

[azdak]

What's wrong with putting the tooth under your pillow? It might fall out in the night? (it won't be there for long enough). You might swallow it? (Ditto, but also really unlikely). It's not very hygenic? (Lots of kids slobber all over their pillows).

[katiedid717]

You could wake your kid up when you try to fetch the tooth

[conuly]

Yup, that’s the one.

Also, having it in a more visible place makes it harder to forget to swap it out.

[azdak]

Oh, that hadn't occurred to me. Probably because an earthquake wouldn't have woken my kids up.

[princessofgeeks]

What an asshole.

[watersword]

Christ, what an asshole.

[movingfinger]

^^^^^^^^this^^^^^^^^

[summerstorm]

I really wonder why some people even have children if they hate childish things so much.

[green_grrl]

Pattycake is idiotic. Listening to her play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano is idiotic. Barbies are idiotic. Chocolate chip smiley pancakes are idiotic. Spider-Man band-aids are idiotic. Gaaaaawwwd do I have to deal with all this dumb kid shit? /thisguy

[dissectionist]

I bet he gets invited to lots of parties.

[topaz_eyes]

Hey LW, maybe your family never did the Tooth Fairy routine when you were a kid, or maybe your parents poo-pooed it themselves. But it's not fair to your daughter to belittle it. So why not go along with it when it's harmless fun.

[quietmoment]

I mean, I didn’t literally “believe in” the tooth fairy when I was a kid, but I still had fun going along with it and pretending I did. Things can be fun and be a nice memory even if they’re kayfabe.