Dear Abby: Hands-on Approach to Other Women Disturbs Man's Wife

[cereta]

God, I badly wanted to change the subject line on this.


DEAR ABBY: My husband cannot be around a female without putting his hands on her shoulder or back. He "has" to touch. I'm not jealous, but embarrassed when I see women cringe and the expression on their faces sometimes. I keep hoping one of them will confront him about it. It's getting worse the older he gets, especially with younger women.

Do not suggest talking to him. He is never wrong and becomes livid when confronted. He reads your column, so please, Abby, give me some advice. -- TIRED OF BEING EMBARRASSED

DEAR TIRED: I assume your husband does this only with unaccompanied young females, because if he did it with women who had an escort, their date or their husband would straighten him out. Because you can see the women are uncomfortable, talk privately with them and suggest they speak up and tell him not to do it again.

Comments

[cereta]

WHAT? Her husband won't stop pawing women who clearly don't want to be touched, so she should put the burden on them to make him stop? Abby, are you high? WTF is with this regressive shit lately?

LW, you may not be able to stop his behavior, but you can stop being there for it, and there for him. You married a creep who throws tantrums when confronted (the "never wrong and gets livid when confronted" is something of a buried lede, here). Get out.

[angelofthenorth]

It may not be safe or possible to get out. But yes, creep and serial assaults just about covers it

[cereta]

Fair point.

[kutsuwamushi]

This is one of the worst answers I've read in a while. Talk about a missed opportunity: If he reads the column, then you can tell him to cut it the fuck out.

Also, the part about dates or escorts sorting him out - well, no. Because some men won't assume that's what their date wants them to do - that is, they don't see it as their role to "protect" a woman because she's "their" woman.

[watersword]

s c r e a m i n g

IT'S TERRIBLE ALL THE WAY DOWN

[xenacryst]

I have nothing to add that my icon doesn't already cover.

[rosefox]

MY FACE. MY FACE MADE A FACE. IT IS IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO "AGHAST."

ABBY. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

[sathari]

...........................I cannot. Male "escorts" defending "their wimminz"? Why could Abby simply not say something like, "Dear Husband of Tired (or any man who thinks this might describe him): Please stop touching random women. Or if you absolutely must, at least watch their body and facial signals and withdraw gracefully and without sullenness if they show signs of distress. (I would suggest an apology, but only if you can make it without being passive-aggressive about it.) Thanks, Abby."

[mommy]

Abby's advice to the LW might have been sensible a century ago, but it's entirely useless today. The problem isn't whether or not the other women are single. The problem is the routine sexual harassment committed by LW's husband.