cereta: Laura Cereta (cereta)
Lucy ([personal profile] cereta) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2017-09-13 05:39 pm
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Dear Abby: Writer Needs Way to Drown Out Noise So She Can Think

DEAR ABBY: My husband refuses to wear headphones. This means that when we sit in the living room together, I must put up with the blaring noise of whatever he is watching.

I do a lot of writing, and in order to think, I need silence. I have tried earplugs, but they don't muffle enough of the noise. Now, when I have had enough, I leave the room. This results in us being in two separate places, which he hates. Is there another solution I may be overlooking? -- LOUD IN MAINE

DEAR LOUD: You might try noise-canceling headphones. However, if that doesn't work, because you need to "hear" in your head the sentences you are trying to write, you may have to do your writing when your husband is not at home.
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)

[personal profile] redbird 2017-09-14 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
Being generous and assuming that they're physically uncomfortable for him (as almost all headphones are for me), the solution is for him to not watch TV in the room where she's writing. If he wants to be in the room while she's writing, he could read a book, knit, or do jigsaw puzzles.
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[personal profile] elialshadowpine 2017-09-15 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
I have difficulty with headphones and thus am super-super-picky because the wrong pair can end up causing irritation that can take days to clear up. But I have been able to find ones that work (and the companies keep going out of business, GRRRRR), so I'd ask what $husband has tried.

I'd ask, cuz, I have run into too many instances of $husband insisting that the wife change rather than try anything. Or insist that it's too expensive, and this can sometimes be true (I can't afford to try ten different pairs of headphones, for instance), but more often than not, that's not the case so much as $husband just can't be arsed. I'm guilty in that I HATE returning items; it's a hassle. If a headset doesn't work out, it ends up going to someone else in my household or it ends up in the "spare" pile, when I really could just return it (because I use Amazon for about everything) and get a total refund.

BUT... that's MY problem, and if somebody in my household were to ask the entirely reasonable thing that the LW is here, it'd be an excuse.

I mean, I know what irritates me when it comes to headphones. I have an auditory requirement of heavy bass (otherwise the music doesn't sound right), I need noise cancelling, I need it to come with a mic, and for physical comfort, the headphones have to be over the ear (completely) with leather (fake or not) padding.

Since I know I'm terrible about returning items, I can try at most maybe three headsets (MAYBE, and that's IF I get good deals on Amazon), but you know what? That means I ... *gasp* ... READ REVIEWS. Items without many reviews leave consideration entirely. I skim reviews for people who have similar issues that I do. If a bunch of people say that the headphones get hot after wearing them for awhile, I don't get them. Same with if they tend to rub the ear after awhile, or if the over-the-ear is really small. There's a number of things I look for, and I've had really good luck. (It reminds me I need to replace my current ones still, but not because of comfort, that's because the sound is weird unless it's at high volumes, and sometimes I don't want to have the music blasting.)

Since the LW has not mentioned that $husband has taken the time to see if he can find a headset that will work for him, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess he probably hasn't. If he hasn't, and he's asking the LW to just stop doing something she enjoys so he can watch TV for hours on end? Yeah, not cool.