Dear Prudence: Sing-along Sally

[lilysea]

Dear Prudence,

 

This summer, I was lucky enough to see a famous musical. The show is not anywhere near my home, so a friend and I booked flights to the show. Fast-forward several months. We were thrilled to arrive at the play we had been vying to see for so long. As soon as the opening number began, however, she began singing along! Not full singing, but a loud enough whisper to draw the attention of nearly everyone seated around us. This was distracting to me because although I know all the lyrics, I was trying to pay attention to actors.

Upon intermission, I asked her if she noticed all the people seated in front of us turning around to stare at her and thereafter suggested that her whispering bothered them. She was shocked that this behavior would be considered rude and then stated that it was their problem. She proceeded with this through the end of the play. I’m shocked no other patrons confronted her. Based on this fact, I wonder if perhaps I am wrong and overly sensitive. Who is right?

Answer: Oh my God, you’re right. On no planet, no parallel dimension, is singing along with a musical from the audience considered good theatergoing etiquette. A few years ago a woman was thrown out of The Bodyguard musical for doing exactly what your friend did.

Obviously there’s nothing to be done about it now, aside from committing to never seeing a live musical with her again, but if you simply want the rush of being told you were right by a stranger on the internet, allow me to grant you that rush: You were right, and your friend was rude.

Comments

[lunabee34]

I've never been to a musical, so I'll be fascinated to hear what other people think.

[the_rck]

Singing along at a musical would be rude by my lights. I can understand the temptation, but... no. Part of the point of a musical is to see and hear the uniqueness of the particular cast and interpretation and so on.

Singing along is okay at certain types of concerts, not all concerts but certain types. I don't think there are many folk musicians who start playing something like "This Land Is Your Land" or "Puff the Magic Dragon" without assuming that the audience will sing along, and a lot of popular musicians selling out big venues aren't going to mind so much because the audience isn't generally there with the expectation of new interpretations. Going back to the Beatles, one could go to their concerts and literally be unable to hear the performance because of the audience screaming. I think it was my step-father who told me about going to a performance of theirs that was like that.

It's one of those nuanced things that's hard to entirely explain or to draw precise lines for, but musical theater performances are pretty far on the don't-sing-along-audibly side and so, for me at least, unambiguous. People in the audience have paid money to hear these particular performers. Singing along so that other people can hear robs them of the experience they expected.

[cereta]

I hardly ever go to see musical theater, and I'd be pretty pissed if one of my rare excursions was disrupted by someone singing along, even at a whisper. Even as confrontation-avoidant as I am, I would probably say something to the person (I once asked someone to put their cell phone away during a play because the light was distracting), and if they didn't, would talk to the manager. I mean, my daughter knew not to do that at four.

[malnpudl]

I'm a semi-compulsive singalong person -- the sort you pass in the grocery store aisle who's (quietly) singing or humming along with the Muzak -- and even I am horrified at the thought of anyone doing this in a musical theater audience. No. Just NO.

(I was taught at a young age that if I absolutely had to indulge my urges in an inappropriate setting, I was to silently mouth the words. It worked well for me in my childhood. Occasionally still does. *g*)

[minoanmiss]

This is exactly what I was about to write. Singing along is not for the theater.

Last time I went to a musical I may have mouthed every word while sobbing in joy but I did it silently!

[tielan]

I am a theatre goer, and believe me, singing along in a professional musical? Is incredibly rude. Those tickets can cost in excess of a hundred dollars; for good tickets, several hundred. People do not pay them to listen to someone behind them singing.

There are situations where singing along is encouraged - there's actually a Sound Of Music Sing-a-long where the audience participation is practically demanded (cosplay, themes, the whole hog). But, yeah, if I'd paid for a ticket to see anything professional in a theatre, I'd be pissed off to have someone in the audience mumbling under their breath.

On the other hand, I'm confrontational enough to say something - politely, but speaking up nevertheless. Admittedly, LW didn't know the ettiquette, but surely the fact that nobody else is doing it would be a small hint that this is not common behaviour.

I probably wouldn't have responded with quite the drama that Prudence did, though. "Oh my God, you're right" sounded incredibly sarcastic to me when I started reading the response.

[serafina20]

Last year, I went to see "Phantom of the Opera" and the man next to me kept singing the songs to his wife. It was so annoying. So, yeah, I'm firmly on the "it's so rude" side.

[jadelennox]

I agree that it's not okay. However, as a counterpoint (which is not me approving of LW's friend's actions at all!), I heard an interesting interview with one of the Hamilton actors (either Christopher Jackson or Daveed Diggs; I think Jackson). He was mentioning how different the enrgy of the show is for those performances where they bring in school kids, because the NY public school kids have never been to the theatre but they do know rap shows, where you can totally sing along if you know the lyrics. So he said for those shows, the kids often sing along, and it surprised the performers at first but now they love it.

Which doesn't mean it's okay for adults at an adult show! Especially if it's the kind of show where people paid a fortune for the tickets, which is basically any show in a major city.

[minoanmiss]

Actually, I think you've underscored the LW's point -- you've described how such am audience-participatory performance is qualitatively different than the "ordinary" performances.

[elialshadowpine]

O___O

My family brought my sister and I to musicals from a fairly young age, when we were old enough to know to behave. Even we, at earlier than 10yrs old, knew better than to sing along during a live performance. That's just... okay, concerts are one thing. Musicals are another.

*twitch*