Ask A Manager: fighting to be the only woman in the firefighter calendar

[minoanmiss]

this one is currently active but I HAD to bring it here. Content advisory: nudity

Should I fight to be the only woman in the firefighter calendar?


In the last year, I became the first female firefighter in my town at the only firehall. Each year they do a calendar photo shoot and then sell the calendar, with the proceeds going to charity. The calendar is a sexy firefighter calendar and you will see poses each year with men covering their private parts with helmets, or nude but the shot is from behind so you only see their bum, or with the straps of their coveralls covering their nipples. I originally thought I would be partaking in the photo shoot as well, but the chief told me that I will not be allowed to participate because it would be inappropriate for a woman to be displayed in such a manner and they want to protect me.

My initial reaction was to say that I want to participate and that there is no reason why I as a woman cannot also cover my private parts with a helmet and I guess something else up top or show my bum or have only the straps of my overalls cover my nipples as well.

As of right now, the photo shoot is a month away and they are still telling me no. The latest reason is because if I were to be nude around the time of the shoot, they would have to have me do my photos separately from the guys and also hire a female photographer to come in to the hall. I’m frustrated because I feel excluded and I believe I should also be able to have fun. Do you think I can fight this? Or do you even think I should fight this? I want to do it, but maybe you would advise that if I can get out of the photos of me being sent out to the town then I should take the win? I just hate being excluded due to my sex.

I hate everything they’re saying to you. Protect you? Inappropriate for you to show your body even though the men are doing the same thing? No and no.

But I do think there’s a different issue, which is that people buying a sexy firefighter calendar that they’re used to featuring all men might not be enthusiastic about displaying a photo of a scantily clad woman. I mean, personally, I wouldn’t want to display either of them — but if my calendar displayed a woman in a pin-up type photo, I’d be more concerned about it reading as skeevier to people because of the cultural history we have of exploiting and objectifying women’s bodies in a way that we don’t with men’s. (I’m not saying this is right! I’m saying it’s in our culture.) So I’m curious if that’s part of what feels weird to them even if they haven’t articulated it.

Anyway, can you fight it? Sure. Should you fight it? Unless you really feel strongly that you want to be in the calendar, I don’t think it’s a good use of capital. As the first female firefighter in your town, you’re going to have so many other battles to fight. Personally I wouldn’t spend the capital on this one if it’s just about the principle of it and not that you’re actually dying to do the calendar.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

As ever AAM's commentariat is not quite as liberal as they like to think they are. I am not sure myself what she should do but I think the discussion should be based on ethics, fairness, and workplace, not moralizing about female nudity. We could have a real conversation about nudity, gender roles, and so on -- some people are starting to, so I hve some hope.

[movingfinger]

Firefighting is still very sexist, and although I imagine this stems from her desire to be one of the gang and included in the group project, I do not think an undressed woman firefighter on a calendar is equivalent to an undressed man firefighter on a calendar. She is new in this position and I do think she is being optimistically obtuse about her standing and the history of sexism and bias. Until there are more women on their team fighting fires in her town, she should back off.

Her chief is trying to treat her in the most unimpeachably professional way possible; she needs to recognize that.

[nineveh_uk]

+1 I do see that excluding her is also a problem, but the person in charge is choosing what he perceives to be the lesser of two problems, which is also the one in which he protects himself. There is no way that including LW topless with straps just over her nipples wouldn't end up with him having a bad time, as well as the LW.

One solution could be to have a cover or one month (if in the US, maybe November with a Thanksgiving theme?) in which all the firefighters pose together for a fun fully-clothed shot of the team. This makes clear LW is a part of the team, and also includes any men who aren't in the calendar.

[topaz_eyes]

While firefighting is still very sexist, imho excluding LW altogether from the calendar would send a far worse overall message to the community. There are plenty of charity firefighter pinup calendars that feature male and female firefighters; there's no real reason LW shouldn't be included, though it may mean toning down some of the racier poses.

[matsushima]

While firefighting is still very sexist, imho excluding LW altogether from the calendar would send a far worse overall message to the community.
This was my thought, too. You could definitely get "sexy" pictures without bare-assed nudity.

I'm not sure what's the right thing to do here but I understand why LW is upset about it.

[needles]

I wonder if the theme of the calendar could be slightly adjusted, if not in the next month for next time? You can have racy without showing your bare butt. (Wet T-shirt contest and playing with "hoses", anyone?)

That's just a bandaid on the core issue of sexism et al, but it may help her with feeling excluded -- which I think is the greater problem she's dealing with. LW sounds relatively new on the job still (she says "in the last year", so 8-9 months maximum...?), and may be feeling like she needs to "prove herself" continuously since she's already such a groundbreaker in her field. The chief's words are, in themself, a bit sexist, but maybe it's his awkward way of saying "you're already seen as one of us, chill out".

I do agree with Alison that she'll have many other battles to fight, and it might be wisest to put her energy elsewhere. Even though it sucks.

[quietmoment]

> "I will not be allowed to participate because it would be inappropriate for a woman to be displayed in such a manner and they want to protect me"

This phrasing made my skin crawl when I read it. It sounds like how a crabby interior designer would talk about a piece of furniture.

[minoanmiss]

It stuck in my craw too. But... however annoyingly phrased, the message needs to be considered. movingfinger stated the reasons not to do this above and I am just not sure that defying patronization in this particular instance will be worth the potential consequences for the LW.

[mrissa]

I think it's a shame that if this situation causes them to reconsider whether having a sexiness-themed calendar for a place of work unrelated to sex is a good idea, LW is likely to be blamed for "ruining the fun" that "everyone" is having. Because "should we actually do a sexiness-themed calendar for a place of work unrelated to sex" strikes me as a question whose time has come otherwise.

Don't exclude LW because she's a woman, start doing a "cute pets of your local firefighters" calendar because that's not opening you up to a million problems in the workplace.

[matsushima]

Don't exclude LW because she's a woman, start doing a "cute pets of your local firefighters" calendar because that's not opening you up to a million problems in the workplace.
They could do "firefighters with animals currently in the local pet shelter" and everyone would win! You could even do, like, romance cover/modeling headshot poses and still have a lot of fun with it and nobody has to get naked.