Dear Prudence: asking for a free photographer backfired badly

[lilysea]

Dear Prudence,
My sister and stepsister have always quarreled over every issue you can think of. My sister is a professional photographer and records almost every family function in spectacular style. My stepsister got married recently and decided to skip on paying a photographer since my sister always carries her camera. You guessed it: The photographs came out horribly—red eyes, blurry, and fuzzy. My stepsister had a fit and screamed at my sister. My sister said she had accidentally brought some bad lenses but since no one officially asked her to be the wedding photographer, she hadn’t had time to prepare. And it is true—no one asked my sister to be the wedding photographer or offered to pay her. However, my sister has since confessed to me over a bottle of wine that she deliberately chose a bad camera because my stepsister was a "cheap, selfish witch."

I am not sure what to do here. The entire fallout has most of my relatives talking about what a “bridezilla” my stepsister was. Even my stepmom apologized to my sister for her daughter’s behavior. Was my sister right? Should I say anything? - Not Picture Perfect

Dear Not Picture Perfect, I shouldn’t laugh. I won’t laugh. I’m not laughing now. Nothing about this situation is funny, and I’m going to take it very seriously. Here is my official ruling: Say nothing. There is nothing to be gained by telling your stepsister the truth, as you’ll only extend their ceaseless quarrel. What your sister did was passive-aggressive and mean-spirited, but your stepsister has learned an important lesson: If you want professional wedding photos, hire a professional photographer and pay them. Don’t ask someone you know hates you to do it for free at the last minute.

Comments

[the_rck]

We had a friend do our wedding photos, but we paid him his going rate. That worked out okay. If he'd offered a discount, we'd likely have taken it, but that was how he made a living, and being at our wedding meant not working someone else's.

[kutsuwamushi]

I mean, it is passive-aggressive and mean-spirited, but I can't bring myself to blame her for it. I get the sense that Prudence wrote and erased the sentence, "It sounds like she deserved it."

[kaberett]

yep!

[minoanmiss]

Thirded.

[mommy]

"You get what you pay for" is a truism for a reason.

[tielan]

I doubt the stepsister has learned any lesson at all, but, yeah. I'd be silent as the grave about it...