That's what was making me mad here, the attempt at emotional manipulation. Avoiding any mention of Jade's preferences was meant kindly, but I think her family are being too nice when it's giving Pam room to push. And apparently she doesn't think there's anything wrong with using passive aggression on a child, so I'm not inclined to worry too much about her feelings. Jade should be told to respond that she thinks there's nothing wrong with a frilly pink dress for someone who wants to be pink and frilly, but it's not her style.