Prudence, what the everloving fuck, why are you encouraging LW to shred themself on the jagged flinty rocks of these parents?

LW: my situation is not similar except for how it is. My parents abused me as a child: now they want to be kind to me since they're elderly and I'm their only child. I am not willing to never talk to them again (some days I'm not sure why) so I keep them at arm's length. Your previous level of contact sounds about right to you. Keep to it. Tell tehm you have no time nor space for visits.

Also, if you're up for it, and he's willing to talk to you, I would recommend you talk to your brother. But don't break yourself on that either.