agonyaunt | (no subject)

Dear Annie: I've been married to my husband, "David," for nine years. We have two kids, ages 7 and 4. Lately, I've been struggling with how much time he spends on his phone. Every night after dinner, instead of helping with bedtime or talking with me, David disappears into the garage or sits on the couch playing online poker. I've brought it up more than once, but he just says he needs to "unwind."

Last week, our daughter even said, "Daddy, get off your phone!" That broke my heart. I work full-time as a nurse and manage most of the household chores and parenting. I don't mind him relaxing, but I want him to be present for our family -- not just physically, but mentally, too.

How do I approach this without it turning into another argument? -- Feeling Like a Single Parent in Knoxville

Dear Feeling Single: Phone addiction is a real thing, especially with things like gaming, online gambling and social media. If he insists on using screen time to "unwind," talk to him about setting some phone-free times; family dinners should certainly be one of them. The key is to propose concrete changes rather than vague requests.

If he brushes you off again, consider counseling -- either as a couple or on your own to help you navigate this. You deserve support.

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LW is framing this as an unsupportive spouse problem, and Annie is talking about screen addiction, but meanwhile nobody is concerned about the gambling!? All that online poker adds up.

LW needs to keep a very close eye on the accounts. And also consult a divorce attorney, because they're already a single parent.

*beams your advice to LW*

I don't like arguments either, LW, but sometimes "without turning this into another argument" cannot be the priority.

This does not bode well at all.

Oof. Yikes.

I work full-time as a nurse and manage most of the household chores and parenting.

flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaames on the side of my fucking faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Full time as a nurse + parenting two kids under ten is SO MUCH even if we assume she’s got 9-5 type hours.

All that followed by I don't mind him relaxing, killed me dead and buried me in bedrock. THROW THE WHOLE MAN!!! OUT!!!!!! THROW THE WHOLE MAN OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope he is contributing to the household with a chonky paycheck because he's sure not contributing anything else at this point.

However big his paycheck is, it’s not all making it home. A lot of it is falling out into the world of online gambling.