conuly: (Default)
conuly ([personal profile] conuly) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2025-06-07 06:39 pm

I don't know why this was sent to Pay Dirt, but Pay Dirt gave excellent advice the LW will not heed

Dear Pay Dirt,

Our next-door neighbors were really welcoming when we first moved into our new home. Within weeks, though, they started complaining that our son was too loud and that he was “bothering” their dogs. He’s 5 years old and rambunctious, and he’s attracted to furry animals, which makes it really hard to keep him away from fun, furry floofs!

We tried talking it out with our neighbors, but they lodged a complaint with our HOA, presented us with a massive bill for repainting their fence after our son drew on it with chalk, and twice called the police because he was “trespassing” on their property (he entered their garden uninvited to play with their dogs).

We’re at our wits end. We are seriously considering selling up and moving, as we can’t reasonably expect a child to forever remain indoors. But it will result in a loss we cannot afford.

Is there any way to fix this situation? We feel like we’re being bullied out of our home, but our neighbors are operating well within the law and their rights.

—Homewrecker


Dear Homewrecker,

The problem isn’t your neighbors, their fence, or their fluffy dogs. The problem is you and your belief that your darling, rambunctious 5-year-old has the right to run into other people’s yards, play or tease their animals, and draw on their property.

He doesn’t. Find a way to keep your son in line, even if that means fencing in your yard and keeping the gate locked so he can’t get out without you unlocking it. Explaining why he can’t run wild in the neighborhood will teach him about respecting other people’s property, a lesson that will stand him in good stead throughout his life.

As the cliché goes, good fences make good neighbors.

Link
melannen: Commander Valentine of Alpha Squad Seven, a red-haired female Nick Fury in space, smoking contemplatively (Default)

[personal profile] melannen 2025-06-08 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
100% This isn't a neighbor issue - this is a safety issue. The neighbors may or may not be reasonably confident that their dogs are safe around kids (it doesn't sound like LW has even asked?) but even then, they sound like good enough dog owners they wouldn't leave a five-year-old unattended with them! And if LW's kid gets hurt, it'll be blamed on their dogs. If LW won't do anything they've got no choice but to escalate for the dogs' safety as well as the kid's.
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Default)

[personal profile] nineveh_uk 2025-06-08 11:33 am (UTC)(link)
+1 We’re also getting the LW's POV, i.e. the one that usually puts a positive spin on their side if things. I note that they don't explain what the "bothering" consists of, but do mention his rambunctiousness and don't deny he is loud. From the POV of dog-lovers who don't want a child to be hurt, he may easily be behaving extremely worryingly for the owners in the presence of even a very well-behaved and good-tempered dog, and his parents are not taking it seriously. He's five. A child of that age who likes dogs could still be shouting and chasing them, throwing things, pulling a fluffy tail, trying to feed them unsuitable food etc.