I read LW3 very differently - it looks to me like LW3's daughter was a victim of parentification and emotional incest, and decided to move on to other relationships where she got to be an equal and set her own terms.
"I raised her as a single mom after her father left, and we leaned on each other through a lot." rings the parentification bell, and "Things started to change after she got married ... it feels like the beginning of their relationship marked the end of ours." inappropriately sets up the daughter's actual spouse, the person she chose to share her life with and make vows to, as a competitor/replacement for LW3. She thought SHE was her daughter's life partner and first priority (a dynamic she set up while her daughter was a child who couldn't escape); turns out that, given a choice, her daughter disagreed.
There's nothing in the letter about LW3's daughter being cut off from other friends or family, or other friends or family even existing as anything but a threat (the in-laws); in LW3's emotional universe, only her own bonds matter.
LW2 rings a lot of the same bells: "We used to be incredibly close ... I was there for every heartbreak, every success, and I truly believed we had a bond that would last a lifetime."
That's such a classic case of "our relationship was so great, back when I was in complete control of it and had total authority over my kid's life! Totally inexplicable that they don't want to share eeeeeeverything with me and be completely emotionally available on my terms anymore. It's like they think their life belongs to them, instead of me!"
no subject
"I raised her as a single mom after her father left, and we leaned on each other through a lot."
rings the parentification bell, and
"Things started to change after she got married ... it feels like the beginning of their relationship marked the end of ours."
inappropriately sets up the daughter's actual spouse, the person she chose to share her life with and make vows to, as a competitor/replacement for LW3. She thought SHE was her daughter's life partner and first priority (a dynamic she set up while her daughter was a child who couldn't escape); turns out that, given a choice, her daughter disagreed.
There's nothing in the letter about LW3's daughter being cut off from other friends or family, or other friends or family even existing as anything but a threat (the in-laws); in LW3's emotional universe, only her own bonds matter.
LW2 rings a lot of the same bells:
"We used to be incredibly close ... I was there for every heartbreak, every success, and I truly believed we had a bond that would last a lifetime."
That's such a classic case of "our relationship was so great, back when I was in complete control of it and had total authority over my kid's life! Totally inexplicable that they don't want to share eeeeeeverything with me and be completely emotionally available on my terms anymore. It's like they think their life belongs to them, instead of me!"