1) Yes, kids with substance abuse issues should have a trust with a financial manager.
2) If ALL FOUR of their kids are having the same struggles, I'm side-eyeing their parenting. Particularly in light of the "health difficulties since birth" -- are any of those difficulties intellectual or learning disabilities, which might make it harder to follow in their parents' financial/educational footsteps?
3) Gen X and Millennials (I'm guessing that's the age range of the kids, because the parents are past retirement age) face an *extremely* different financial, educational, housing, and employment reality than previous generations, and a lot of older people do NOT get it.
4) LW, you are not hiding your disappointment from your kids as well as you think you are, and that is inevitably going to affect your relationship.
I think that LW would benefit from meeting with a financial/trust advisor, but ALSO a therapist who has expertise in treating parents of kids with various kinds of struggles, because the kids are DEFINITELY aware of the judgment from their parents, and I think that LW and their spouse would benefit from getting a more realistic perspective on what their expectations should be, and how to deal with their feelings about their children's lives not turning out the way they had hoped.
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2) If ALL FOUR of their kids are having the same struggles, I'm side-eyeing their parenting. Particularly in light of the "health difficulties since birth" -- are any of those difficulties intellectual or learning disabilities, which might make it harder to follow in their parents' financial/educational footsteps?
3) Gen X and Millennials (I'm guessing that's the age range of the kids, because the parents are past retirement age) face an *extremely* different financial, educational, housing, and employment reality than previous generations, and a lot of older people do NOT get it.
4) LW, you are not hiding your disappointment from your kids as well as you think you are, and that is inevitably going to affect your relationship.
I think that LW would benefit from meeting with a financial/trust advisor, but ALSO a therapist who has expertise in treating parents of kids with various kinds of struggles, because the kids are DEFINITELY aware of the judgment from their parents, and I think that LW and their spouse would benefit from getting a more realistic perspective on what their expectations should be, and how to deal with their feelings about their children's lives not turning out the way they had hoped.