The only "make this work" compromise I can think of would be if the LW and boyfriend would both be comfortable as non-cohabiting partners. The boyfriend isn't just saying that this specific cat is too skittish for him to want to live with: he doesn't want the responsibility or "messiness" of any pet. Also, "too chaotic" feels like a plausible objection, but even if I didn't have or want cats, I'd be hesitant to make long-term plans with someone who thinks any pet is too much responsibility.