this terrible thing I’m about to write that I haven’t let myself say out loud: Our 6-year-old daughter’s and my lives are so much less stressful without him. He had anxiety that he acknowledged but refused to actively manage, and I think he also had OCD. What I didn’t realize was how much worse his anxiety had gotten, a little bit at a time, over the 12 years we were together, and how much it was controlling all of our lives.

No kid, and no formal diagnoses, but otherwise I could have written this, and I’ve definitely not seen it said out loud before. In fiction, when people are relieved after their spouse’s death, it’s almost always because spouse was abusive. Being so anxious that your family has to walk on eggshells has similarities with abusive behavior but it’s not quite the same thing.

Whew, glad I got that off my chest.