Dear LW, all the advice about finding ways to connect with your dad would work so much better if your time in his company was truly voluntary. As in, maybe put Delia's advice on hold until you've made a life for yourself where Dad isn't. So that your possible future bids for connection can come from a place where you're mentally and emotionally safe, and not operating under the terroristic promise that you're only welcome in his home and to his support while you're performing the requisite amount of filial piety. Even if your dad weren't a prizewinning bigot, it's normal for kids and their parents to disconnect from each other somewhat during teenage and college years. You can lean into that cliche a little to make home life somewhat more bearable until you can reasonably escape.