I don't think in any way, shape, or form you're justifying the kids' or GF's behavior. I just disagree that LW's action in grabbing the kid's hand is an "escalation." And I get your objection, I do, but you know, if the person in question had been an inebriated adult, and they were about to throw something into the fire no matter how many people told them to stop, I would probably at the very least have grabbed the item. Now, granted, I have the kind of weird "privilege" of being a very little woman (and the real privilege of being white), so I doubt anyone would accuse me of physical bullying or intimidation for doing so.