![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Missing missing reasons, wiretap edition
Dear Amy: After my two granddaughters’ last visit (ages 13 and 11), my son informed me that they had recorded one of our conversations.
My son was upset by the content of the conversation but not by the fact that these two secretly recorded me.
It makes me wonder how often they’ve done this and who else they have done this to. (The girls have a lot of overnight play dates at their friends’ homes.)
I am really upset about this. Should I be?
Now I don’t allow the phones in my home, and this is creating a real problem.
Is this a violation of my privacy?
Frustrated Grandma: Yes, secretly recording you is a violation of your privacy. Yes, it is wrong of these girls to do this (it is also illegal in some states).
But this sort of behavior is within the normal range for younger adolescents, who are devoted to testing, pushing and experimenting.
Maybe when you were that age you prank-called people? This is an equivalent, and I agree that there are unintended (and intended) consequences of their choice to do this.
I hope you will use this episode as an opportunity to talk to these girls about privacy — not only yours, but theirs. I don’t think you should ban phones from your home, but forgive them for this episode and be open to the possibility that they will have learned from it.
My son was upset by the content of the conversation but not by the fact that these two secretly recorded me.
It makes me wonder how often they’ve done this and who else they have done this to. (The girls have a lot of overnight play dates at their friends’ homes.)
I am really upset about this. Should I be?
Now I don’t allow the phones in my home, and this is creating a real problem.
Is this a violation of my privacy?
Frustrated Grandma: Yes, secretly recording you is a violation of your privacy. Yes, it is wrong of these girls to do this (it is also illegal in some states).
But this sort of behavior is within the normal range for younger adolescents, who are devoted to testing, pushing and experimenting.
Maybe when you were that age you prank-called people? This is an equivalent, and I agree that there are unintended (and intended) consequences of their choice to do this.
I hope you will use this episode as an opportunity to talk to these girls about privacy — not only yours, but theirs. I don’t think you should ban phones from your home, but forgive them for this episode and be open to the possibility that they will have learned from it.