I rather suspect that the TBI issues have already been getting worse.
This. And people with previous brain injuries are at increased risk for dementia later on. I don't know offhand whether that includes being at increased risk of the dementia having an earlier onset, but it might. And brain injuries can also flare up worse if you're sick or stressed.
Did the letter writer know about the issues before they married?
And did he live with her before they married? If not, maybe he didn't know what her day to day looks like, or how bad a bad day is.
If the marriage is recent, how did the wife deal with this stuff before?
He didn't say, and it's a short letter, but it may be that he doesn't like how she dealt with this stuff before. Maybe she's handling it badly, or maybe he doesn't understand her disability and expects more than is possible. Possibly she's just chronically disorganised and panicked as a state of life, and is unable to meet the basic standard he thinks is acceptable. Or unwilling, but a lot of abled people who are unfamiliar with disability have trouble with the concept that "as good as it gets" might be way lower than "normal". In which case if he isn't willing to adjust his standards (which it's okay if he's not) then they are not compatible as a couple.
She might need a higher level of support than she's getting. And he doesn't have to be her aide (ideally someone else should be, someone not part of her family) but if she needs help to do the things then if she doesn't get that help then the things aren't gonna get done.
Also, the hitting thing might not be under her control, depending on what parts of her brain were injured. It might be the part that lets her inhibit impulses. In which case if she's injuring herself or scaring him, maybe she could carry around something soft to hit.
no subject
This. And people with previous brain injuries are at increased risk for dementia later on. I don't know offhand whether that includes being at increased risk of the dementia having an earlier onset, but it might. And brain injuries can also flare up worse if you're sick or stressed.
Did the letter writer know about the issues before they married?
And did he live with her before they married? If not, maybe he didn't know what her day to day looks like, or how bad a bad day is.
If the marriage is recent, how did the wife deal with this stuff before?
He didn't say, and it's a short letter, but it may be that he doesn't like how she dealt with this stuff before. Maybe she's handling it badly, or maybe he doesn't understand her disability and expects more than is possible. Possibly she's just chronically disorganised and panicked as a state of life, and is unable to meet the basic standard he thinks is acceptable. Or unwilling, but a lot of abled people who are unfamiliar with disability have trouble with the concept that "as good as it gets" might be way lower than "normal". In which case if he isn't willing to adjust his standards (which it's okay if he's not) then they are not compatible as a couple.
She might need a higher level of support than she's getting. And he doesn't have to be her aide (ideally someone else should be, someone not part of her family) but if she needs help to do the things then if she doesn't get that help then the things aren't gonna get done.
Also, the hitting thing might not be under her control, depending on what parts of her brain were injured. It might be the part that lets her inhibit impulses. In which case if she's injuring herself or scaring him, maybe she could carry around something soft to hit.