I do wonder what's going on here because "I told my family why I was upset and they immediately tried to fix the issue without getting defensive about it, what do I do" is *not* how these letters usually go. Like, "I told them I wanted them more present in my life so now they're trying to do that" isn't exactly what I'd call "a twisted turn of events".

I kind of feel like this letter might be the inverse of "I have three adult children who I love very much, but my youngest pulled away in adulthood. They came to visit us a few times after their marriage but they and their spouse seemed uncomfortable, so we didn't want to push them to come more often after they stopped suggesting it, and they've never invited us to theirs since then - not even when they had their first child! They don't visit or invite their siblings either, even though the rest of us are close. We've barely even met their kids. We've tried to respect their boundaries and back off, but recently they told us that they felt like we were choosing to exclude them, so we've been trying to proactively reach out with offers and invitations - and now they say that this is 'off-putting' and 'insincere'. What can we do?"