LW, either you don't go, or you convince yourself that the in-laws' recreational vituperation is entirely recreational and doesn't reflect their actual opinions on you, and in fact it's how they show love and approval.
There are families like that - where having your past embarrassments and mistakes brought back up repeatedly is sincerely a way of showing affection and acceptance - and if they are that kind of family, you'll have to figure out if you can learn to deal with that or not - and that you seem to enjoy their company otherwise says this might be the case.
Of course there are also families who do this sort of stuff to be hateful and exclusionary. Your fiance, your fellow in-laws (and also, your experience of how your fiance expresses affection and how he interacts with his family) can help be your guide as to which is is.
If you do decide they're just hateful people, it sounds like there's other in-laws around who get the same thing. You should unionize and organize your own parallel gathering.
no subject
There are families like that - where having your past embarrassments and mistakes brought back up repeatedly is sincerely a way of showing affection and acceptance - and if they are that kind of family, you'll have to figure out if you can learn to deal with that or not - and that you seem to enjoy their company otherwise says this might be the case.
Of course there are also families who do this sort of stuff to be hateful and exclusionary. Your fiance, your fellow in-laws (and also, your experience of how your fiance expresses affection and how he interacts with his family) can help be your guide as to which is is.
If you do decide they're just hateful people, it sounds like there's other in-laws around who get the same thing. You should unionize and organize your own parallel gathering.