I am Jewish, raised Reform, but now hanging out with the Jewish mystics whose founder/teacher was ordained by the last Lubavitcher rebbe, and served in the beginnings of their Chabad and Hillel growths.
For #1, the first thing that occurred to me is "has the boyfriend been previously married within the Jewish community?" Because this sounds like the type of man who has a wife who is civilly divorced, but not Jewishly (a get is required for the woman to remarry, but since a man is "permitted but not recommended" to have two wives, some rabbis will perform the second marriage in THAT case). That she's not being invited to Pesach Seder or Shabbos meals, sounds to me like the boyfriend is trying to keep her from finding out she'll not only be his second wife, but his SECONDARY wife, because until he frees his first wife, much of the community will definitely treat this prospective convert as having little place within the Jewish community. Look up "agunot" about these chained wives' situations.
In both cases, I sincerely believe that converting for someone is not a good reason to convert to Judaism. One should only convert if they truly feel that this Jewish way of life is more coming home for that person and not for anyone else.
no subject
For #1, the first thing that occurred to me is "has the boyfriend been previously married within the Jewish community?" Because this sounds like the type of man who has a wife who is civilly divorced, but not Jewishly (a get is required for the woman to remarry, but since a man is "permitted but not recommended" to have two wives, some rabbis will perform the second marriage in THAT case). That she's not being invited to Pesach Seder or Shabbos meals, sounds to me like the boyfriend is trying to keep her from finding out she'll not only be his second wife, but his SECONDARY wife, because until he frees his first wife, much of the community will definitely treat this prospective convert as having little place within the Jewish community. Look up "agunot" about these chained wives' situations.
In both cases, I sincerely believe that converting for someone is not a good reason to convert to Judaism. One should only convert if they truly feel that this Jewish way of life is more coming home for that person and not for anyone else.