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DEAR HARRIETTE: My wealthy sister is questioning my parenting style, leaving me frustrated. Just a year older than me, she married into money. While we had enough growing up, we wouldn't have considered ourselves rich.
During my sister's birthday, my daughter and husband met my extremely spoiled niece and nephew. I hate to judge children, but there's no other way to describe these kids. Yesterday we all went shopping. My sister kept offering to buy my daughter things, but I repeatedly refused. She made annoying remarks, insisting it didn't matter because she could afford it and it's necessary to give children everything they want. However, my priority is teaching my daughter financial responsibility, moderation and patience.
This situation has caused tension between my sister and me. I tried talking to her about it, but it seems my points are not getting across. I'm not sure what the next approach should be. -- Parenting Style
DEAR PARENTING STYLE: You can continue to teach your daughter what you value without disparaging your sister. It is obvious to you and your daughter that your sister and her family live differently than you do. I think you can allow your sister to give your daughter an extravagant gift without fear of your daughter becoming like your niece. Allowing your sister to do what she values for your daughter gives her a bit of comfort because it says you are letting her shower your daughter with her love. Right now, your sister feels like you are rejecting her.
Sit with your sister and make an agreement. She can give your daughter one special gift. For yourself, you have to accept your sister for who she is and stop judging her or her family as you continue to teach your daughter how you expect her to conduct herself in life.
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During my sister's birthday, my daughter and husband met my extremely spoiled niece and nephew. I hate to judge children, but there's no other way to describe these kids. Yesterday we all went shopping. My sister kept offering to buy my daughter things, but I repeatedly refused. She made annoying remarks, insisting it didn't matter because she could afford it and it's necessary to give children everything they want. However, my priority is teaching my daughter financial responsibility, moderation and patience.
This situation has caused tension between my sister and me. I tried talking to her about it, but it seems my points are not getting across. I'm not sure what the next approach should be. -- Parenting Style
DEAR PARENTING STYLE: You can continue to teach your daughter what you value without disparaging your sister. It is obvious to you and your daughter that your sister and her family live differently than you do. I think you can allow your sister to give your daughter an extravagant gift without fear of your daughter becoming like your niece. Allowing your sister to do what she values for your daughter gives her a bit of comfort because it says you are letting her shower your daughter with her love. Right now, your sister feels like you are rejecting her.
Sit with your sister and make an agreement. She can give your daughter one special gift. For yourself, you have to accept your sister for who she is and stop judging her or her family as you continue to teach your daughter how you expect her to conduct herself in life.
Link
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