melannen: Commander Valentine of Alpha Squad Seven, a red-haired female Nick Fury in space, smoking contemplatively (Default)
melannen ([personal profile] melannen) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2024-01-22 10:48 pm (UTC)

Yeah, I sympathize with the general thrust of the response, but that is terrible practical advice.

LW, your parents aren't interested in your discomfort or understanding it. They almost certainly will refuse to accept that they forced you to do things that were bad for you, because it wouldn't fit their idea of what kind of parents they were. The more you push the idea that you never liked hugging, the more they will be motivated to prove you wrong.

Just give them consistent flat no's, and if they push past your no's, the next step is taking actions to prevent them from hugging you, like only visiting them in the company of someone who does respect your no's who is willing to physically interpose themself. Or only seeing them in relatively large gatherings, and being willing to make it extremely awkward around all their friends if they ignore your no - arguments that won't work on them directly might have an effect if used in front of people they actually respect.

If those don't work enough to change the behaviour, then your options are pretty much accept it or stop seeing them.

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