I enjoy taking friends out for meals, but rarely (pre-pandemic) hosted a dinner party where I cooked all the food, versus ordering in.
I have friends who love giving lavish dinners with all kinds of homemade food and fancy dishware, and while I enjoy it, and share my genuine appreciation and delight, and try to make sure to do something nice in reciprocation, it’s unlikely that it will be returned exactly in kind.
Insisting that an invitation be reciprocated by an invitation to eat a homemade meal in someone’s home is really shortsighted and exclusionary.
I found that I enjoy time with my friends more if I haven’t used up all of my spoons making a elaborate meal, and then scrubbing the kitchen before they arrive — at that point, I want a nap!
Basically, what is owed is thanks, consideration, and reaching out periodically to initiate invitations of some kind, to show your hosts that you enjoy their company and want to spend time with them.
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I have friends who love giving lavish dinners with all kinds of homemade food and fancy dishware, and while I enjoy it, and share my genuine appreciation and delight, and try to make sure to do something nice in reciprocation, it’s unlikely that it will be returned exactly in kind.
Insisting that an invitation be reciprocated by an invitation to eat a homemade meal in someone’s home is really shortsighted and exclusionary.
I found that I enjoy time with my friends more if I haven’t used up all of my spoons making a elaborate meal, and then scrubbing the kitchen before they arrive — at that point, I want a nap!
Basically, what is owed is thanks, consideration, and reaching out periodically to initiate invitations of some kind, to show your hosts that you enjoy their company and want to spend time with them.