Thank you! I don't have access, so I'm glad to see this further nuance to her answer, especially this part:
I will go on the record now, as I probably should have a few harrumphant paragraphs ago, with my firm belief that white-knuckling through life in an unhappy marriage is not a virtue. If you were miserable, and if you threw your whole self into trying to fix the marriage only to feel just as stuck, then a choice to leave was valid and arguably necessary.
But how and whom you leave matters — so if you sloughed off all that life weight onto her instead of carrying every ounce of it that you were still responsible for, then you own that, whether she lives happily ever after you or not. Just as you don’t own her struggle anymore if you’re pulling your weight.
no subject
I will go on the record now, as I probably should have a few harrumphant paragraphs ago, with my firm belief that white-knuckling through life in an unhappy marriage is not a virtue. If you were miserable, and if you threw your whole self into trying to fix the marriage only to feel just as stuck, then a choice to leave was valid and arguably necessary.
But how and whom you leave matters — so if you sloughed off all that life weight onto her instead of carrying every ounce of it that you were still responsible for, then you own that, whether she lives happily ever after you or not. Just as you don’t own her struggle anymore if you’re pulling your weight.