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DEAR HARRIETTE: Halloween is around the corner, so I decided to take my boyfriend to a haunted house attraction for a fun date night. We were both excited, and he expressed nothing but enthusiasm for our plans.
When we entered the haunted house, things immediately went left. My boyfriend was completely horrified and begged me to leave early.
Now I can’t help but feel a little nervous about our relationship. Is it possible that I’m dating a coward? I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I paid good money for our tickets, and he couldn’t even put on a brave face for me for the night.
I think this says a lot about how fearful of a person he could potentially be. Am I overthinking it?
— Man Up
DEAR MAN UP: Something else may have been going on that triggered your boyfriend’s reaction. Find out what’s up.
Ask him why he reacted so strongly. What upset him? Continue and ask him what else frightens him. You are in the getting-to-know-you stage, so listen carefully and observe.
You can also tell him that it bothered you that he got so scared, and you want to understand what happened. The more you get to know him, the better you will come to understand his motivations.
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When we entered the haunted house, things immediately went left. My boyfriend was completely horrified and begged me to leave early.
Now I can’t help but feel a little nervous about our relationship. Is it possible that I’m dating a coward? I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I paid good money for our tickets, and he couldn’t even put on a brave face for me for the night.
I think this says a lot about how fearful of a person he could potentially be. Am I overthinking it?
— Man Up
DEAR MAN UP: Something else may have been going on that triggered your boyfriend’s reaction. Find out what’s up.
Ask him why he reacted so strongly. What upset him? Continue and ask him what else frightens him. You are in the getting-to-know-you stage, so listen carefully and observe.
You can also tell him that it bothered you that he got so scared, and you want to understand what happened. The more you get to know him, the better you will come to understand his motivations.
Link
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Also, liking some horror/haunts/etc. doesn't mean that you like it ALL, under every set of circumstances -- I have a Hard Nope about horror that I describe as "man's inhumanity to man," and am only interested in books/movies that focus on supernatural, sci-fi, fantasy, monsters, etc.
(That attitude took a while to develop -- it felt like I developed more empathy after my teens/twenties, and I just can't stomach that kind of thing anymore.)
I absolutely don't require a partner to be into the exact same things that I am, and that doesn't make anyone a "coward" for not caring for certain types of entertainment.