Dear Abby: My husband keeps cheating. Should I move with him?

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time deciding if I should forgive my husband or tell him enough is enough. In the year since our wedding, he became infatuated with one of my bridesmaids to the point of telling her -- and me -- that he loved her. He also flirted with women online, lied to my face about it, and asked for and received nude pictures from a "friend" and an ex.

We have been in counseling for about a month now, but we're moving soon, and I'm not sure I want to move with him, even though he now says he wants to fix things. We have a small child together, which affects my decision. What should I do? -- NOT SURE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR NOT SURE: It appears that the man you married was not mature enough to make that commitment. That the two of you are now in counseling and he wants to make things work is hopeful. However, considering what has been going on for the past year, I can understand your serious doubts. Because you already have a counselor helping you to work on your marriage, I think you should take your question to -- and your cues from -- the person with whom you are working.

Comments

[cereta]

Note: I realize there's no actual evidence that the husband is physically unfaithful, but I do not think there is a reasonable definition of "fidelity" that he meets.

I swear, I do not know whether to make the LW a nice cup of tea or (gently) whap her upside the head, because, oh, honey. Six words:

1. Lawyer
2. Divorce
3. Custody
5. Child support.

Without the move, I might say give it some more time, but you should not move away from your support system, from your job (if you are working), from whatever sense of safety your current location gives you. If you move at all, it should be to somewhere that you and your child have more support. (Note: I am, admittedly, assuming that they are moving somewhere new, but I feel like LW would mention if they were moving "back" somewhere.)

[moem]

That's not five words...

[cereta]

Arg. Well, the list is five words, even though I put six. The rest is extraneous ;). I was distracted.

[moem]

Oh yeah, I guess I was distracted too... I meant to say that's not six words. There's no number 4 on your list. Still it's a good list.

[jadelennox]

I hate taking acronyms from Dan Savage, but this is a job for DTMFA: Dump The Motherfucker Already.

[tielan]

This, this, this.

If she's going to stay with him, then she needs to have people around her who will pick her up if (IF) things go bad. NEEDS.

(The 'if' is really a 'when' IMO. Same diff applies.)